Words of Wisdom

Words of Wisdom (big thanks to Trace for posting these today)

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Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
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Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
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Do not walk beside me, either.Just leave me alone.
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The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt or a leaky tire.
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It's always darkest before dawn. So, if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
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No one is listening until you make a mistake.
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Always remember you're unique-- just like everyone else.
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Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
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It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
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It is far more impressive when othersdiscover your good qualitieswithout your help.
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If you lend someone $20,and never see that person again,it was probably worth it.
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Remember, when someone annoys you,it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and smack that jerk upside the head.
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The things that come to those who wait are what's left behind by those who got there first.
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Never underestimate the powerof stupid people in large groups.
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Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
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Some days you are the bug,some days you are the windshield.
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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
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Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
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Timing has an awful lot to dowith the outcome of a rain dance.
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A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
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I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
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Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
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There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
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Never miss a good chance to shut up.
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Generally speaking,you aren't learning muchwhen your mouth is moving.
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Anything worth taking seriouslyis worth making fun of.
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Diplomacy is the art of saying "good doggie"while looking for a bigger stick.
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Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away,and you have their shoes.
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If Barbie is so popular,why do you have to buy her friends?
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Experience is something you don't getuntil just after you need it.
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Don't be irreplaceable;if you can't be replaced,you can't be promoted.
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You can go anywhere you want if you look seriousand carry a clipboard.