Wednesday, January 31, 2007

What a quiet weekend we had....

Well the weekend was very quiet to say the least. IT was a good quiet and yet, I found myself not knowing what to do. For the past 1 1/2 years we have had at least 1 child under the age of 5 in our home at all times. I got caught up on some much need scrapbooking though and that was nice to get done.

As for what the respite home had to say....L Jr. was good all weekend - big surprise. NOT! He's always a good little boy. They said that LAnna had a few short tantrums lasting 2 mins at the most and then she was fine. I find that extremely hard to believe especially considering they said she only napped a total of 2 hrs during the day. But then again, if she is so content at their house then maybe they need to move her there on a permanent basis??? I don't know. I'm sooo torn on this one. We have asked that she be moved and tomorrow is the deadline. I have offered to deliver her to someone tonight as I am traveling (whether permittting) up to their county tonight. We'll see what happens. Of course, last night at home she was a good girl. We only had a couple short tantrums right before bedtime. Now I'm torn - do I tell them to move her or do we just hold out for a while and see how things go? What to do...what to do....

That's it for now...thanks again to all who read!

Friday, January 26, 2007

Peaceful Weekend Ahead

Well I know nothing more about my little peanuts except that she is teething. DUH! She does have a tooth that is bad. It's soft. One of her new 1 year molars. We have an appt with a Pediatric Dentist for Feb 21 but not until then. The only thing that CC (their social services agency) is offering us at this point is for the kids to go to a respite home for the weekend. I JUMPED FOR THIS! I feel guilty cause it will be some place strange for them and I will worry, but a much needed break for us! This way, someone who has never met these children can give an unbiased opinion of how the weekend goes. I'm excited to hear what they have to say on Sunday.

This comes good also, because I am having a Pampered Chef party at my house tomorrow and now I can get my house clean! Don't get me wrong, I love being a "mom" to these kids as they come thru our house, but this little girl has been a trying experience. I know teething can be painful, but that does not explain why she can shut it off like a light switch when you pick her up.

Hope all have a good weekend. I'm off to get them from daycare and home to pack up a bag and then off to meet the parent aide. Am I a bad parent for being excited for them to be gone this weekend??? I feel guilty!

Thursday, January 25, 2007

What to do????

Well we have been dealing with an extremely cranky little girl for a few weeks now. On MOnday I called the kids' social worker and was told that she was leaving for a convention for the rest of the week and that this had to wait. On Tuesday, I called the parent aide and was told to give her a blanket and pacifier (neither of which she has EVER carried around with her). I mean - she's 12 1/2 months old and you think a pacifier is going to take care of this?? Come on! I have been incontact with my social worker in my county (these kids are from a different county) and she has been wonderful trying to help me. I've spoken with a Foster Care Supervisor from the kids' county and never received a phone call back from her either. Now this is day #4 trying to get an answer. All I am asking for is a change in the visit schedule for a week or 2 to see if getting her back on a schedule for naps/eating/etc will help. I'm not saying the visit themselves are our problem - i think it's the fact that these kids have NO SCHEDULE! She was doing sooo much better before these extra visits came into the picture. They are not willing to work on a new schedule with me. I've taken her to the chiropractor this week - there was nothing wrong with her from that aspect. Today we are going to a Pediatrician to have a complete work up done. (She's been to a regular family doc the 1st week of Jan for a checkup and was to a Public Health nurse the end of the 2nd week of Jan and she was fine both of those checkups). I'm beside myself. Now I have a daycare lady who is telling me 1 week and she needs to be gone unless there is something being done to try and get her back on a schedule. What am I supposed to do??? My daycare lady has done daycare for 40 years/foster care for 30 years. She's the one they always give the drug/alcohol babies to when they come into care for the 1st time and have to go thru withdrawals. She knows how to handle kids with problems and yet we can't get a hold on what's up with L? That is what makes me feel so strongly that if we could get her back on a schedule (consistent schedule of naps/eating etc) we would be just fine. I'm being told that this is the only schedule that works for the bio mom. Well since when does the bio mom who lost her kids due to a Meth Bust for which bio mom was no where to be found and had left her kids with a bunch of drug addicts come before these kids? I just don't understand sometimes. I called up there again this morning to Social Services and I am yet to receive a call back. The message that I left stated that unless we get a diagnosis from the Doc that there is something medically wrong with L, we are giving 1 week notice that L will need to be moved by next Thurs. L. Jr can stay if they don't have a home for him, but not sister. Am I being unrealistic with this? I'm really confused at what to do and yet my hands are tied also?

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Some News we Knew was coming but didn't want to hear...

Well our foster daughter that went home right after Thanksgiving is being adopted by the family her bio mom chose. This is not a surprise to us at all. It is just soooo frustrating why no one would listen to us when we went to court. We tried to tell them that the whole "reunification" was a joke especially when it was taking place at the "identified adoptive parents home". It is just sooo frustrating because she was fine where she was. They totally screwed her up with their accelerated plan to reunify her. She was 12 months when she came to us. She was 23 1/2 months when she left. She was settled with us. We were the only family she ever knew. I am just sooooo pissed. Our lovely court system had 2 similar cases go thru it within a month of eachother...if these cases go thru - what will be next? When will someone truly think about the best interest of these children????

Monday, January 15, 2007


Ok, I know i shouldn't be complaining since it is january but we are spoiled around here this winter. This is the 4th day that we have been below 0 for high temps. YUCK! Oh well, at least it can't go on forever...a few months and it will be spring.

On to my little sweet peas at home. We had a GREAT weekend! On Friday night after the kids went to bed I looked at my hubby and said, "Do you realize we did not have 1 screaming fit all night?" He was like, "You're right!" Then on Sat she was really good too. Sunday wasn't the best day but we've had a lot worse.

Please say a prayer for my mom! She had a mammo appt on Friday and didn't get a good report. We've been down this road before with her in the past and it's always just been a calcium deposit or something like that. I guess this time they say it's not a calcium deposit - they know that for sure. She is having a biopsy on Wed am. Our family has been thru a lot in the past 12 months and this is not the way we wanted to start out 2007! We had 8 deaths in our family last year and I went thru 2 wrist surgeries as well as a cancer relap scare of my own so let's keep our fingers crossed that all turns out well for her. I'll update again on Friday after I hear the results!

Thursday, January 11, 2007


OK, I have a dilemma....We are having a horrible time with L. She has always been fussy - we assume she was held a lot and now that is what she expects. We were doing really good up until Christmas when our normal daycare took a week and a half off. Then we had to use 2 back up daycares and things all went to the pits. Now L thinks she needs to be held ALL THE TIME and if she isn't - then she is literally SCREAMING at the top of her lungs non stop. The kid doesn't quit. I told my hubby that i am glad she's not our biological kid cause then I'd really feel bad for her normal daycare and I'd be scared that they would tell us to find a new one. Our daycare wouldn't ever do that for real, but I feel bad for her. She is a foster parent also for 30+ years so knows how to deal with her but she is even wondering what else to do to help her learn she doesn't have to be held all the time. Then I talked with the parent aide for her bio mom today and I asked if she is held during visits or does she play. Guess what the parent aide told me....YEPPERS mom sits and holds her. We're fighting a losing battle here. Any ideas for me? before I go crazy. My hubby is at the point, he wants the kids gone and gone now!

Monday, January 8, 2007

L. Jr & L

Well almost forgot - had a meeting last week - "Child & Family Team Meeting" for L Jr. & L. Got to meet their bio mom for the 1st time. She's a real winner! I did get the idea from her that she really understands why her children are where they are and that this is the best place for them at this time. This is the first parent we have dealt with that has given me this opinion. The others have always thought their kids should have been home with them and there was no reason they were in foster care. Although, this mom has A LONG ROAD ahead of her to get herself into shape to care for her children, I think she truely is trying. Ok, so I've only met her this one time and don't really know, but that's just the opinion I got from her. We also found out that the kids nationality is not what we were originally told so that leaves some unanswered questions as to how long they will actually be with us. We'll just have to wait and see how the visits go and what we find out at our next meeting in April.


UGH. I am soo tired of sick kids and a sick husband! Both L. Jr. & L have had a cold for about 3 weeks and then L. Jr started in with the flu stuff on New Years (his 2nd bday!). He's doing better and L is still fighting her cold. Plus she's teething and I will be soo glad when that last molar pops thru! Then last Friday on L's 1st birthday, my hubby stayed home from work complaining of being sick. Well after he layed around all weekend and was running a 101+ temp I decided he must really be sick. Even stayed home from work again today. I'm terrible, but I just keep thinking - do you realize how much money you being sick is costing us!!!At least it is after Jan 1 so now he has vacation time again.

Not too much else new. No big plans for this week. My dad is having surgery tomorrow so may try and run over to Oakes to be with mom during that. Nothing major - but it's still surgery and is scary.

Monday, January 1, 2007

Cast of Characters

Ok I will add to this as I come up with people who need to be added..

Who are the people I am writing about? I will try to give a quick short description to clarify how they came to be part of this blog....

NDFostermom - Hey that's Me! I started this as a place to keep track of the trials/rewards of doing fostercare and to look for advice from other foster parents/adoptive parents out there who may have gone thru the same things we are going thru. I am the Mom!

Hubby - original huh? Yep. He's my best friend and the DAD. We were married in June 2003.

B - 5 yrs old when he was placed with us. Sick with pneumonia the day we "got" him. Sick with pneumonia the day he went home. Sick with pneumonia EVERY day in between. Poor little guy.

D - B's 3 yr old brother. So cute! Very well behaved. B&D were in care due to mental health issues in bio family.

G -12 month foster daughter who was with us for 11 months in 2006. We tried to adopt her but were unsuccessful and Dec 5, 2006 at 23 months she officially was taken out of foster care and returned to her bio mom who in turn gave her to her friends for adoption immediately upon the state stepping out of the case. Go figure. Gotta love our court system! In care due to mental health issues with bio mom. ***UPDATED 11/07 - I have met G's new adoptive mom. She's wonderful. We can be a part of G's life! I'm so happy. She is growing like a week. Approaching her 3rd bday soon!

L Jr. &L - 20 month old boy and 8 month old girl. Brother/Sister. Meth bust kids. TONS of issues. Had to have them moved in Jan 2007 due to issues with sister. Working full time - she needed more help than we could give her.

**Updated June 07

Emilee - 6 yr old. Came to us in June 2007. Foster care/pre-adoptive home. Has attachment disorder and other behavior issues. Needs love. Was emotionally abused by birth mom. Came into care in March 06. Previous foster home did not want to adopt. Too many issues and foster mom didn't get along with Emilee. Foster mom labeld Emilee "problem child". Birth mom TPR in Dec 06. Birth dad TPR Aug 07.

JP - Emilee's 4 yr old brother. Came to us inJune 07. Foster care/pre-adoptive home. Has no diagnosis. Was labeled "angel child" in previous foster home. Came to foster care July 06. Not the "angel child" that he was made out to be. Has LOTS of behavior issues.

Donny & Conny - old foster parents of Emilee and JP.

Grandma Faye - Emilee and JP's paternal grandmother. She cared for them when they were first born until they moved to ND with their birth mom. We call her every other week.

A & T - 3 yr old girl and her 7 month old brother. Emergency placement. Very short term as I am not ready to be a mom to 4 special needs kids right now. If I didn't work full time - it would be a different story. A is very picky, very bossy, very much needs to be in control. Not gonna happen in our home. T has severe reflux issues and middle of the night feedings last minimum 1 hr as he needs to be set straight up for 45 mins after he finishes his bottle. Cute kids...wish they could stay.