Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Is anyone still out there????

Is there anyone still out there??? It has been forever...5 months to be exact since I was last on here.

A quick little update on my life...

I have a new job 2 hours away from where I used to live. I am doing accounting for a John Deere dealership. I LOVE IT!!! I lived in the same town as my new job for a couple months this summer but in August moved half-way back to where I used to live because I was miserable living up here. Now I drive about 75 miles one way to work but I am so much happier.

I have met someone new. ALthough I have NO INTEREST in being in a relationship, it is nice to have someone who shares some of my interests and to hang out with once in a while. We have had some of the same past experiences in life and it is nice to have someone who somewhat understands what I have been thru.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Moving On

I'm in the process of moving on with the rest of my life. I am currently living with my parents (NEVER planned on that when I moved out when I was 18) at their lake home. I guess if there is a silver lining in all of this...it's that I get to live at the lake during the summer! :-)

I'm looking for a job with health insurance benefits. I need to get out of the local area as (soon-to-be-ex) hubby's entire family lives around here and I just can't handle seeing them or him. We'll see what I find.

In the mean time, I am being selfish. I have decided that I have let myself be walked on for far too long. It's time I start looking out for ME! I DESERVE to be happy! I DESERVE to be healthy! I have a new life ahead of me...here I come world!

Friday, April 17, 2009

SO much going on

Long story short...adoption is off. Marriage is over. Husband is not the man I thought he was. Looking for somewhere to live and a job with benefits.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Up and Running

We had our first visit with our new agency on March 11. Thanks to our LOVELY weather, we had to reschedule it once. I think it went well. We are finishing up the rest of the paperwork and have our next visit March 26th. It sounds good so I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

New Agency

Just a quick post....adoption application has been sent to New Agency!!!

Great big THANK YOU to Angela for bringing them to my attention!

More updates later.

Monday, January 26, 2009


Ok, this blog has turned into something that I'm sure not too many (if anyone) is interested in.

We had a meeting with our social services office and AASK. No way will we be allowed to adopt T. They don't believe I am "stable" and are upset that we didn't follow thru with the recommendations that we supposedly received July 1 of last year. I say supposedly because we NEVER got the letter. On the 14th when I talked to the lady at AASK, she told me that she knew we weren't given any recommendations..then by the time we talked the following week, there is a letter dated July 1, 2008 that was sent to us??? Kinda fishy if you ask me, but whatever.

I'm worn out. I'm frustrated. I'm ready to throw it all away.

Stable...yes I believe I am stable. Heck, I've been thru hell and back in the 3 1/2 yrs we have done foster care and I still want to do it. Ok, on 2nd thought...maybe I'm not stable! Any person in their right mind would have told them where to go by now! I haven't. I still want to foster. I still want to adopt. But I've said since last summer that I don't think we will EVER get a fair shot with this agency again. I fully believe that after this last meeting.

Oh and they even went so far as to tell me that they are biased against the psychologist that I chose to go see. Hmmm...what happened to MY rights to pick. It wasn't in the letter WHOM we had to see. So now I choose someone (yes someone who has quite a reputation in our county whom I normally wouldn't choose but considering what they are pulling, I choose him cause he's buddy buddy with a REALLY GOOD LAWYER), and they don't like that choice? So if I stick with going to see him on Thursday, will that be held against me too???

I/we have to have a psychological eval done.
I/we have to go to marriage counseling.
I/we have to go to individual counseling.
I have to sign releases so they can get ALL of my ED files.

(I say I/we because they mainly want ME to get the evals done but if they say WE then they can get around the discrimination deal).

they will send us the paperwork to begin the process all over again so that WE can fork out a bunch more money for background checks, etc. Why? So they can pick it apart and deny us? Even IF we were ever to get an approved home study...would THEY ever choose us? or would some other family be a "better fit" for the child?

Hubby says I need to go into it with an open mind? I can't. I'm sorry, but I can't. I have been lied to and discriminated against and sh** on too much with "the system" that is looking for the "best interest of the child".

I'm done with them. I'm thankful that Angela has given me the name of another agency that will soon be licensed for ND foster care adoptions.

I'm also thinking along the lines of fertility treatments again. I don't know. I've had it up to my eyeballs and then some. Why can ANYONE give birth to a child BUT if you can't give birth to a child...then you can be put thru the wringer before they allow you to adopt. UGH!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009


Ok...it's been a while...well more like FOREVER.

Life...well it's had it's ups and downs. No placements right now. That's ok.

We recently learned that a little boy we had in Nov 2007 ( I can't remember what i named him) is now up for adoption. We only had him and his older sis for a few days then had them moved because of Em and JP. We've done respite A LOT for him over the past year. He's sooo sweet. It's an ugly battle. I have contacted a lawyer to see what our rights are. The only adoption agency we can go thru in ND for foster kids...is being difficult. We have our county saying that this little guy should be in our home...but they say they won't look at us without a home study...yet they won't write us a home study. And if they hadn't discriminated against us last summer and closed our home study without talking to us...we would have a currently home study. UGH!

Also....father in law cancer update....he had his bladder/prostrate/appendix out Dec 8. Spent 10 days in the hospital. Was rushed back by ambulance on Dec 19 after his incision came open and his intestines were practically falling out of his body. The doc could feel them when he examined fil. Spent another 10 days in the hospital. Got out Dec 29. My little bil is living with us. He's 16. We have 2 farms to keep up...2 sets of chores to do...oh and did i mention that we have more snow already than we've had in like FOREVER up here??? It literally storms every other day or so up here. Today it's -40degrees Farenheit windchills. Yep...gotta love ND!

As for my ED...it's not good. I'm trying but with all this stress...it's not good. That's all I'm going to say for now.

HOpe all is well with everyone....I'll try to catch up on your blogs soon.