Monday, January 26, 2009


Ok, this blog has turned into something that I'm sure not too many (if anyone) is interested in.

We had a meeting with our social services office and AASK. No way will we be allowed to adopt T. They don't believe I am "stable" and are upset that we didn't follow thru with the recommendations that we supposedly received July 1 of last year. I say supposedly because we NEVER got the letter. On the 14th when I talked to the lady at AASK, she told me that she knew we weren't given any recommendations..then by the time we talked the following week, there is a letter dated July 1, 2008 that was sent to us??? Kinda fishy if you ask me, but whatever.

I'm worn out. I'm frustrated. I'm ready to throw it all away.

Stable...yes I believe I am stable. Heck, I've been thru hell and back in the 3 1/2 yrs we have done foster care and I still want to do it. Ok, on 2nd thought...maybe I'm not stable! Any person in their right mind would have told them where to go by now! I haven't. I still want to foster. I still want to adopt. But I've said since last summer that I don't think we will EVER get a fair shot with this agency again. I fully believe that after this last meeting.

Oh and they even went so far as to tell me that they are biased against the psychologist that I chose to go see. Hmmm...what happened to MY rights to pick. It wasn't in the letter WHOM we had to see. So now I choose someone (yes someone who has quite a reputation in our county whom I normally wouldn't choose but considering what they are pulling, I choose him cause he's buddy buddy with a REALLY GOOD LAWYER), and they don't like that choice? So if I stick with going to see him on Thursday, will that be held against me too???

I/we have to have a psychological eval done.
I/we have to go to marriage counseling.
I/we have to go to individual counseling.
I have to sign releases so they can get ALL of my ED files.

(I say I/we because they mainly want ME to get the evals done but if they say WE then they can get around the discrimination deal).

they will send us the paperwork to begin the process all over again so that WE can fork out a bunch more money for background checks, etc. Why? So they can pick it apart and deny us? Even IF we were ever to get an approved home study...would THEY ever choose us? or would some other family be a "better fit" for the child?

Hubby says I need to go into it with an open mind? I can't. I'm sorry, but I can't. I have been lied to and discriminated against and sh** on too much with "the system" that is looking for the "best interest of the child".

I'm done with them. I'm thankful that Angela has given me the name of another agency that will soon be licensed for ND foster care adoptions.

I'm also thinking along the lines of fertility treatments again. I don't know. I've had it up to my eyeballs and then some. Why can ANYONE give birth to a child BUT if you can't give birth to a child...then you can be put thru the wringer before they allow you to adopt. UGH!


Angela :-) said...

I'm sorry that you won't be able to adopt T. I hope things work out with the new agency!

(Woo-hoo, I got mentioned on someone's blog. lol)

Angela :-)

Kathy said...

The foster care system sucks!

I'm sorry that you've had to deal with so much b.s. with your current agency, and that they've been so ridiculous about your ED.

I also hope that things work out with the new agency.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.