Thursday, August 30, 2007

The Verdict is In....

TERMINATION IS FINALIZED!!!! DAD CAN APPEAL BUT EVEN IF HE DOES, THERE IS LITTLE TO NO CHANCE THAT IT WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!!

I don't have time to write more now....I will give you more info another time. Thanks for all the prayers! They have been answered!

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Keep your fingers crossed...

I got an email that I have met the minimum qualifications for the position that I applied for last week. The job is a state job so my resume & application had to be sent to the state capital. Then they look it over to see if it meets the minimum requirements and if so, they forward it on to the county in which the job is located. Well the email I got was from the HR director for the state....

Thank you for your interest in employment with the **** County **** Office. I have reviewed your application for the Office AssistantIII position, and you do meet the minimum qualifications for this position.I will now refer your application material to the county office for theirfurther consideration. They will contact you if they need any additionalinformation, as well as the future status of your application.

I am really hoping that they call me for an interview. Afterall, most of them know me. Is this a good thing or a bad thing though??? I'm not sure. As I said, I have lots of knowledge in this area and not just how to manage an office. If you can read between the lines, you should be able to figure out where this new potential job is.

I'll keep you posted.

**************************

We are also supposed to hear from the judge today....I'm not holding my breath it will happen though!

Monday, August 27, 2007

1st day of school

Well we survived going to school for the 1st day today. I really think I was having more issues than the kids were. JP was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited. He couldn't wait to get there. We went to his room 1st and put his things away and then he took off back to the classroom. He didn't care at all that I was leaving.

Emilee had a little rougher time (which I knew she would). Although we did get thru things without any tears (Thank you G-d!), she was very clingy and needed lots of hugs/kisses/I Love You's!

I spoke with JP's teacher and she knew that he was a foster child and that we have some developmental issues as well as attachment issues going on. Em's teacher on the other hand, knew nothing of her issues. Ok at first I was like...what kind of school is this? But then I had to take a deep breath and remember that she was hired a whole 3 weeks ago as there were too many 1st graders to have only 1 teacher. So then I gave her a quick explanation and told her we can discuss in more detail things later. I would really love to have both JP & Em's teacher keep a little log or something for me at least thru these next few months while we are transitioning from Foster Care to a FOREVER FAMILY!!!! I can't believe I can say that! Ok so we haven't heard the all clear from the judge yet but come on, we better win on this one! I think biodad cooked his own goose on being a dad to these kids years ago and just put the cherry on top last week during his little episode during court.

Tonight the kids get to ride the bus for the first time and will get off at Grandpa's house with Uncle S. Hopefully that goes well!

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Court Update

Well I don't know if I should really post about this yet or not. I don't want to jynx myself but here it goes anyways....

SW called about 4:15pm yesterday. She told me that Bio Dad was caught in a lie under oath during his testimony and he hung up the phone. They tried to reach him several times and he wouldn't answer the phone. The judge then told the lawyers to write their summaries and turn them in by Monday am. He then said he would make his ruling by Tuesday afternoon.

There should be no reason that Bio Dad gets his kids back at this point. Really, there's no reason he should have anyways, but after committing perjury, I don't think he should no matter what. I don't know what the lie was and I'm not sure if I ever will, but a lie is a lie and especially when you're under oath!

I called Hubby and told him the news. I asked him if he thought this was good news or bad news. He said neither. I told him I agreed with him to a point. I think it's both Good and Bad. Good - we SHOULD be able to adopt IF we choose.
Bad- It's always sad that these kids are brought into this world and now will have to live with the fact that the people who brought them into this world, don't want them. Unfortunately, that is the truth in this case. It's not that they CAN'T care for them...they just DON'T WANT THEM! I can't imagine how that is making Em & JP feel.

We also discussed a little about adopting them and we know that we have to talk about it more. At the point TPR is official, we look at it as though they are our kids. They are living in our house. They are calling us Mommy and Daddy. We are responsible for their health, safety, well-being. How can we just say...Nope, don't want them. Then are we any better than their bio parents? Yes, we have quite a few behavior issues with them, but things could be a lot worse. I am very optimistic that once the kids realize they are HOME to stay FOREVER, that will help some of these issues. Also with the start of therapy, we are praying that things start to improve. Now the idea that we could be a FOREVER family on Dec 6, 2007 is such an exciting and scary thought all mixed into one.

The other thing is Em has been talking a lot about wanting to change her name. I don't know. I don't particularily like what she wants to change it to. Then again, her real name isn't one I would choose to give to a child either, but it fits her. Do you change her name at 7 yrs of age? What would that be like in school for her teachers/friends? We plan to change their middle names, but I don't know what to do about first names? What can you guys tell me from experience? JP has never said anything about changing his name. We actually like his name and it goes well with what his middle name would be. What if he wants to change his if we let Em change hers??? So many things to think about......

Nothing else new. JP's birthday party is this afternoon. Should be fun. Supposed to be near 80 degrees and I borrowed mom and dad's little pool with the slide on it so I think the kids will enjoy that.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JP!

JP,

Happy 5th Birthday to you! You have brought so much joy into our lives over the past 2 1/2 months! I remember the day we were told you were coming to our home. We were so excited and yet apprehensive because we had been down this road before. The day your sw sent us your pictures, I knew it was for real. We made the trip to Bismarck the day before we were to meet you and Emilee. That was one of the longest nights of my life. I could sleep at all. I kept wondering where you were and what you were doing. Finally, morning came and we got ready to come and meet you and your sister for breakfast.

When we drove into the parking lot, I saw you right away. I told daddy that you guys were even cuter in person than in your pictures and we had already fallen in love with the two beautiful children in the pictures. You were shy at first. We sat down at the table and decided what we were going to eat. Then we started looking thru the picture books that your old foster parents made up for you to take with. First was Emilee's turn and you really wanted to show us your book. It was hard for you to wait your turn. Then you had to go potty. First the sw took you. A few minutes later you had to go again (or so you said) and I asked if I could take you. You said "YESH" in your oh so cute way. You took my hand and we went. My heart melted immediately.

After breakfast, we walked outside and took lots of pictures of you and Em on the wooden rocking chairs lined up outside. You both wanted a chair for yourselves but we told you it would have to wait. Then we unloaded all your stuff into the van and off we went to the park and the zoo. Every time daddy and I looked at eachother that day, we would smile. We couldn't believe we were finally a family of 4.

We went to McDonald's for lunch and of course, it was super busy. You were standing with daddy, holding his hand and I remember hearing you ask him if he was your new daddy. He said yes and then we winked at eachother. That is a time we will never forget. Oh and we also learned that we need to remember to bring socks with when we go to McD's or you guys won't get to play in the playland. I'm sorry for not knowing the rules....now we know and I promise we will try to remember next time.

We spent the next 2 days in Bismarck at Uncle J & Auntie S's house with C&D and all her daycare kids. You guys had fun playing with everyone. The first night Em decided to sleep downstairs with C&D but you wanted to be near mommy & daddy so we made you a bed on the floor next to our bed. We flew your new kites and went out to eat and just had a blast.

Finally we came home and you met Grandpa D & Grandma P and Great-Grandma A on the way home when we stopped at their house for supper. You guys were pretty shy again but soon warmed up when Grandpa D got the 4wheeler out. He sure knows how to win you guys over. Now all we hear is "Where's Grandpa D?"

You really wanted Em's Winnie-The-Pooh room but after a few minutes decided SpongeBob wasn't such a bad option either when I told you you could help pick out the color to paint your room and Em had to leave her room the color it was painted.

We've had our issues but in the whole picture of things you are a wonderful child. I know it's been a rough 5 years for you and for that I'm sorry. I wish I could take away all the pain you are feeling inside and make life easier for you to understand but I can't. Please remember that Daddy and I love you with all our hearts. We are hoping for the best for you in all you do and we are excited to be here to watch you accomplish all your dreams! We LOVE YOU JP!!! I hope you have a wonderful birthday.

Love always,
Mommy Jody & Daddy "Hubby"

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

To do or not to do...

that is the question of the day. Remember the issues (or should I say accusations) here at work a few weeks ago...well they are still looming and now the employee whom we feel started the whole mess is still causing some ruffles in the feathers around here and it's driving me CRAZY!! Well, today I was searching on the internet on the Job Service website and found a position that I am going to apply for. I'm really excited. The hours of this job are just getting to me and this fellow employee is really more than I can handle. This new prospective job is back at the 40 hours per week with actually more income...hmmm this is a no brainer isn't it??? I spoke with someone at this job (I don't want to say where it is yet...let's just say I have quite a bit of knowledge concerning this type of employment and what they do at this place) and she said that i should FOR SURE DEFINATELY DON'T WAIT ANY LONGER apply for the job. That makes me feel pretty good.

I'll keep you posted....supposedly they will be calling for interviews next week.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Finally some time off

Well after 44 hours being put in between last Monday thru Thurs I was not a happy camper. I left my house at 6:30am last thurs and got home at 10:05pm thurs night. YUCK! Needless to say when I got to work on Friday morning I told the boss how I was feeling. He told me to leave at 11:00. :-) It was about 11:40am when I finally got outta here but it was a nice break. I ended up going to visit my sister & her family and brother & his family for the night. We had a good time for the most part.

Sis's hubby stayed home and watched the kids while her and I went out for a while on Friday night. Not like we could do much but it was nice to have an adult conversation without the interruption of a kid telling me they just want a hug! She did ask me to be there when this baby is born in about a month. I have mixed feelings about this. I wanted to be there when my niece was born last Nov and sis wouldn't let me. Then she let one of her students be there! {{GROWL}}. She knows that one of my friends has asked me to be there when their baby is born in Feb and I get the feeling that the only reason sis is asking me is because either A. My mom has told her she needs to or B. she feels guilty that a friend is going to let me and she didn't want to. Either way, I really don't want to be there. Plus I am gone to a school for work Sept 10-14 and sis is planning on being induced on the 20th. 1. Thurs are my late night so that won't work and 2. I can't ask for a day off right after being gone for a whole week. Deep down I think sis knows this too and that's why she asked...she knew I couldn't make it work. UGH! Why do I feel this way?

We came home Sat afternoon and that was plenty of time. Sis & hubby are building a new house to the toon of $300K. Yep they are rolling in the bucks and like to flaunt it. Brother & family just bought a new house but it's not NEW in that sense. Just new to them. I actually like Brother's house better. It's more my style but that is also becuase it's outside of town and they have some privacy. ALthough they have neighbors , they still have a yard and it's not like you can reach out your bedroom window and touch your neighbors house like you can at sis's house. Ok so Maybe I'm exaggerating a little but I know there isn't 15 feet between the houses! YUCK! I'm a country girl and guess I always will be.

Sis and I went out to the county fair for a while and holy cow - I think I need to drink some Aberdeen water! Talk about Preggers people EVERYWHERE!!! ;-p. That probably put a damper on my mood too.

I have talked with a fellow blogger who I won't name for confidentiality reasons and I want to say a GREAT BIG THANK YOU to this person for her help. Hubby and I are really having some issues accepting parenting on a long term basis to Em & JP. Don't get me wrong, they are great kids, but we need to HONESTLY look at all options before we can make a life-long committment to them. (I feel like such a bad person right now!) Thanks to this fellow blogger, we are going to make a profile and submit it to some infant adoption sites and see what happens. Deep down, I know this is what I want. This is what we both wanted when we started this journey. To start our family with an infant. After that, we both said we would be open to older adoptions. Now we're staring down the road of older adoptions and wondering "WHAT IF???" I feel so lost.

To be honest somedays it is even hard to read fellow bloggers blogs' who have infants in their homes and who get daily calls for younger kids. In our county, it is so screwed up. There are so many kids out there who need to be put in foster care for safety reasons.....neglect, drugs, abuse, etc and yet our county doesn't want to get involved so the kids stay in these homes. Then when they kids are teens/late pre-teens they pull them from the home and can't figure out why they can't find a foster home to take them. They have WAY TOO MANY ISSUES than what we have training / support for. Had they pulled them at a young age and forced the families to get the help they desperately needed, this could have been avoided in most (not all) cases. At least the parents would have been forced to either 1. clean up their act 2. give up their rights. Whether their was other family suitable or an adoptive home, these kids deserve so much more.
I'm not sure how your counties work or how close some of you are with your workers, but if there is EVER an infant that can't be placed and there is an option of placing out of state...please email me and I will give you my contact information.

Ok...my mom just called. My niece is now in the hospital. She was sick this weekend when we were down there visiting. Guess her temp is still running between 101 - 104 degrees F. Her WB count is way up too and she's been on antibiotics since last Friday. Plus now she is dehydrated. Poor thing!

Mom also told me that she has to have arthroscopic knee surgery sometime in the near future. She's been having knee problems for a while and nothing is seeming to help it so she finally went to a specialist. I told her to set up the appt! and not wait. She needs to get this fixed! She just laughed at me and told me she was too busy! Guess me and daddy will have to have a talk!

Not much else knew. JP turns 5 on Wed so we are planning a party for him this Sat. Not a lot of people, but should be fun. Hopefully we have nice weather so we can be outside.

Monday, August 13, 2007

WEEKEND IS OVER...

FINALLY!!! Why is it the kids have to act like MONSTERS when I am home with them and the minute Hubby walks in the door they put their angel wings on and I look like the bad guy! Why is that???? Then he says I'm just being too hard on them. What the f***? I wish our video camera worked. I'd set it up so the kids didn't know and just let it run. At least he'd hear what they had to say and how they treat me when he isn't around.

This morning..JP had a ROUGH time. I knew it was coming. He refused to go to sleep last night. I don't know what his problem was. He wanted a Hug from Hubby but Hubby wasn't home. He cried and cried and cried. This morning it took him 35 minutes to go potty. That's all he could get done. He didn't get himself dressed, didn't even get his teeth brushed. It's just like he was moving in snail speed. Why did I let it get me upset? I knew last night this is what was going to happen.

Then Emilee asked for a drink of water. I had to go to the bathroom so told her I would get her one as soon as I was done (I know TMI). While I was in the bathroom - I heard the fridge door open and the sound of things falling and hitting the floor. Instead of waiting for me (and I was int here all of 2 minutes tops) so tried to get her water bottle outta the fridge by herself. She knocked the bottle of OJ off the top shelf and a doz eggs off the shelf. Needless to say, the cover came off the oj and the eggs broke. I was not a happy camper. Oh and it's now 7:55am and I have to be to work by 8:30am and we have 23 miles to drive.

Then she wanted to know why I was yelling at them. I know I shouldn't have yelled but I was MAD!!! Was I asking too much for her to wait 2 minutes for me to get her a drink of water? Is it wrong of me to expect an almost 5 year old (he'll be 5 on the 22nd) to dress himself like he does every other morning? It's not like she was coughing or gagging or anything. The way it turned out she didn't get a drink of water at all. I cleaned up the mess as good as I could and now I will have to scrub scrub scrub the floor tonight.

We were supposed to have our yearly home visit by sw tonight too so that didn't make me any happier. Luckily when I got to work sw called to say that she wasn't feeling good and to reschedule our visit.

Welcome to Monday! Here's a toast to a better week ahead!

Friday, August 10, 2007

Not much going on

So we went from "So much going on" to "Not much going on". We are kinda in a rut right now just going day by day. Nothing much to blog about. I did get a call from daycare last night to tell me that Emilee had been throwing up and complaining that her head hurt. Daycare said she was resting and that she would keep her until I got off work at 8pm (she called me at 6:50pm). Well we made it home without throwing up in the van but that was it. She was up 3 times during the night. Then again once today before i left for work and I talked to Hubby at noon and she had not kept anything down all day. She hasn't actually eaten a meal since Wed supper. Soooo we are headed to the doc at 4:30pm today. I really worried about her getting dehydrated. She's not a big girl. As of noon she had thrown up 11 times that I know of since this all started about 4:30pm yesterday. If the doc brings up a hospital stay I may just agree to it for the weekend. Afterall, let's waste the weekend, not the week days when I have to work. I am supposed to work tomorrow from 8-12noon but that's minor. So welcome to motherhood and sick kids again. YUCK!

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

It's a good thing my sister doesn't live near me...

or I'm not sure what I would do to her. She is not due until Sept 27. With her other 2 kids she went 2 weeks early with both of them so we were/are shooting for Sept 15. Well she had a doc appt today and she is dilated to 1.5 already. She has been complaining of her back hurting and when we asked her if it was back labor - she said, "No, my back is just outta place. Well I don't believe that. I'm sure it's back labor that she's feeling. (NOt that I really would know but considering what the doc had to say - I'd bet my life on it). They wanted to put her in the hospital and she said NO! Is she crazy???? This is WAY TOO EARLY!!! Plus her 9 month old has a rash and can't go to daycare so she has her at home with her. I asked my mom where sis's hubby was and mom told me at work.....hmmmm maybe he should be home taking care of his wife and child! Afterall, they own the business. He's the boss....that place can run without him. He didn't have a problem being gone from it for his trip to Mexico, Florida, and Nashville so far this year. At least he'd be in the same town and only 5 mins away if there was an emergency and he needed to go back for just a bit. Doesn't she understand I would do anything to have her problem????Oh wait, if it was me, I would have let them put me in the hospital to stop labor. Some people!!!

Monday, August 6, 2007

Meeting this am

Ok. so we had our meeting this am with the HR manager and our Dealer Principal (big boss man). What a crock. Here's what I know (and it's not much)...



1. A customer complained to an employee last Thursday sometime before 3:30pm. According to report that HR got, this customer "UNLOADED" on employee that said "inappropriate touching" was VERY INAPPROPRIATE and said customer was EXTREMELY upset by said touching. Umm if this was such a big deal, why did said employee wait before going to HR????

2. This employee sat on the information for a while before going to HR manager at 3:30pm.

3. Hr sat on this info for a while before going to GM.

4. Alleged "Inappropriate touching" was Salesman touching my mid-section somewhere and me touching his mid-section somewhere.

5. Unknown at what part of the dealership said touching occurred.

6. Unknown customer name. Only have that said customer is male. HR has approx height/weight but that's it.

7. To pursue any further is not an option to find out who customer is and we have no rights to who employee is that reported said "inappropriate touching".



Ok now to respond to these "facts"...

1. I got to work at 10:35am on Thursday. (Didn't have to be here until 11am but came in early). Was met with a customer here at the time that was buying car. Busy with said customer for approx 45 mins. Then had to finish up deals from previous days that I didn't get a chance to put together because I was too busy on those days. Another customer here at 1:45pm. Busy with said customer until approx 2:05pm. Then busy with paperwork. 3rd customer here at 3:35pm. Busy until 5:00 pm with this customer. In the mean time I was at my desk doing paperwork or walking between my desk and office to turn in paperwork.



2. So if this employee turned over report of alleged "inappropriate touching" at 3:30pm and had "sat on the info" for while when did it happen? Oh and the customers that i dealt with were from 3 different sales people (only 1 was with salesperson that said touching occurred with).



3. If this was such a big deal, why wait????



4/5. Give me a break - you can't even tell us exactly what happened or who touched who first or where said touching occurred within the dealership????



6. Yeah right....you're using this "CUSTOMER" to cover for said employee who has a jealousy problem.



7. So if this employee reported said "inappropriate touching" under good faith...why does he have to be annoymous??? (I'm saying HE cause who we think it is is a HE).

We made it back

safe and sound. The trip was fun. LONG but fun. Also, when I left work on Thursday night, my gas gauge wasn't working and check engine light was on on my van. Needless to say, this wasn't what I needed after the ending to a crappy day. So we took mom and dad's vehicle which was fine but they don't have a DVD player so it was a long trip for the kids. It was a very beautiful wedding and it was nice to see family that we don't see very often. We made it home yesterday in 9 hrs flat with taking 1 hr off for lunch. AWESOME! It took us 8 1/2 hrs on Friday to get to where we were stopping for the night and that was about 80 miles short of where we were for the wedding.

As for what went on on Thurs around my job.....I am told that there were LOTS of closed door meetings on Friday and that's about all I know. I am also told that we will have a meeting with HR manager sometime today to get more facts about the claim. I'll keep you posted.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

So much going on...

First of all, tomorrow we leave for Missouri for our long weekend trip to my cousin's wedding. I can't wait. It should be fun...at least it would have been fun (I'll explain in a minute)

Second...court has been rescheduled for Aug 24. We'll see what happens. Hopefully we will get some kind of answer then as school starts Aug 27 and IF the kids are leaving us at least they won't have to start a whole new school.

Third....PLEASE keep the people of Minneapolis, MN in your prayers. I'm not sure if you have seen this on your news but a major bridge thru downtown Minneapolis/St. Paul, MN collapsed yesterday during rush hour traffic. It is horrible. I have a lot of relatives in the cities and THANK GOD they are all ok. My brother called me last night to say he and his family were fine and I was like, "Yeah ok...what is up?" Then he told me the bridge collapsed. This is so sad.

Ok for why the trip WOULD HAVE BEEN fun....I was on my supper break at work today when my cell phone rang. It was one of our salesman from work. He told me that he had just been called into the General Manager's office because someone had reported that there had been "inappropriate touching" between him and I. He didn't know who touched who or when this ALLEGEDLY occurred. He didn't know who complained but that the HR manager came to him and reported the ALLEGED ordeal. He told me that I would be getting talked to as soon as I got back to work. And I did. I told the GM that this is assinine (?sp). I AM SOOOOO PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW!!! This is SO NOT TRUE!!! This salesman and I are both married ~ HAPPILY I MAY ADD~ and do not need this rumor getting out. He called the HR Mgr at home and asked her what our rights were. We can file a report and a mediator will take over and investigate it. We said we wanted to do this. WE WANT THE FACTS!!! After all, we deserve this much. We also told the GM that if it is an employee who made these claims, what would happen to this person. He said they would be fired. Now I have this hanging over my head until I get back on Monday and can find out what is happening with this. UGH!!! SOME PEOPLE! We have nothing to hide so let's get this straight.

We are pretty sure we know it was an employee and we are pretty sure we know who it was that made these claims. He is a very jealous type of person. He relies on me to do a LOT of his work. He has made some comments to me that I could say are Sexual harrassment but I know the kind of person he is and I just blow it off. Lately though it seems as if he is relying on me more and more and doesn't take no for an answer. Oh and he is old enough to be my dad. I was on vacation over his birthday in June and when I got back to work, he told me he was hurt because I didn't make a point to come out and say Happy Birthday to him....HELLO... I wasn't even in town! I just don't know what to think. He's had a tough time the past few years with personal issues and I guess maybe I'm just too nice of a person. For instance, this week has been CRAZY at work. I get to work and it's like 1 minute later it's quitting time. I haven't even taken a lunch break 3 days this week. Tonight he told me he is hurt because I haven't talked to him this week and he saw me take time to talk to other people. HUH???? Excuse me, you can't tell me who I can and can't talk to when I get a free 30 seconds during the day. Get over it!

Well I guess I really shouldn't let it get to me and ruin my weekend. I have told this salesman to call my cell phone tomorrow when/if he knows anything more. I can not have this get back to my husband. I don't think this certain employee would ever call Hubby but who knows....now I am wondering.....I'll keep you posted.

What are your thoughts...anybody know exactly what my rights are having been wrongly accused of this????