Update on Court

I met with the kids' sw today. She told me that the kids' dad has re-surfaced. He wants them back. He will be at court. UGH! We had 1 more week and that's it - since we know he received the papers as he was served in person, i was hoping he just wasn't going to show up. Oh well. Guess it's actually safer this way, right? We KNOW he will KNOW what is going on and IF we get the answer we are looking for, it should be it, right? I sure hope so.

I love these kids with all my heart and I pray that we get dad TPR'd next week. Yet, as the day has gone on, I feel bad because I've also had the thoughts that , well, what happens, happens and guess it's not my problem to worry about. How mean of me? I don't have the "I'M GOING TO FIGHT THIS WITH ALL I'VE GOT" feelings. I mean with G we hired our own attorney and paid big bucks and lost and I was heart broke for a long time. I don't know if we will do that this time. We will just let the state fight their case and if they lose, then the kids will be leaving. I think I'm just so scared of forking out all that money again and not having anything to show for it. These kids are MY kids in all I do and I care about them more than life itself, and yet we both still have this wall up around our hearts because we've been down this road before and I'm SCARED to death to go down the same path we did with G.

SW and AASK CW think he doesn't have a chance. Well, we've heard that line before and where did it get us? Childless and broke (or darn close to it!). I am just sick to my stomach thinking about this and I've got 7 days to worry.

SW did tell me that she got it approved for me to be present via phone for the hearing. That I am happy about. At least i will get to hear exactly what is being said and done and not have to rely on waiting for a phone call to find out.

SW also talked to the kiddo's about their bio mom and the fact that they can't go live with her. I was a little upset because she was supposed to do this when I was there so I could hear what she had to say and what the kids had to say. Oh well. She did tell me that they told her they missed bio mom and they understand that she can't care for them and that is why they are living with us. Do they understand?? I don't know. To a point I think they hear what SW is saying, but understand???? That's a lot for a 4 & 6 yr old. We'll see how many times I hear Emilee crying because she misses her and wants to go live with her.

Nothing else new. JP is having some issues at daycare so I took her 2 journals to start keeping for me. At least this way, I will have someone else telling what is going on and it's not just coming from me. He has been yelling and screaming at "Kappy" when she tells him no for something. That is what he does at home when he doesn't get the answer he wants to hear. Hopefully this will also help the therapist.

Work is about over so that's it for now. Have a good evening all.