We were notified yesterday that there is a birth mom/birth dad that are due in July that want to give the baby girl up for adoption. Both parents have some mental issues and know that they cannot care for the child. We have sent off all our information as well as a couple family pictures and now we wait.....and wait....and wait.....I'm sure there are some of you out there who know exactly what I am feeling right now. I'm trying to not get too excited because, heck, we've been down this road before just not with an infant and I do know that there were many families interested in this child but how do you not get excited at least a little bit???? The paperwork states that the family wants a semi-open adoption. Well in our state I know you can't list any "promises" to the birth parents on the paperwork but for those of you out there, what kind of open adoptions have you done and how do they work for you? To what extent are your adoption "open".
Please keep us in your prayers that things go our way. I'll keep you posted as I know more and I would LOVE to hear your thoughts.
3 comments:
We have an open adoption with a mentally ill b-mom and her parents as well as parents and siblings of the b-dad. We take phone calls and email from all of them. We do occasional visits with paternal side and somewhat more frequent visits with maternal side.
I really like the paternal side of the family and wish they lived closer so we could see them more. They are appropriately loving and there are cousins close in age.
The maternal side is another story. We have had lots of challenges. Right now we aren't doing visits, but we will continue to have contact. I feel strongly that Ella grow up knowing who they are and what the family dynamics are like.
I read an account of an adopted adult in an open adoption. He said that he was really glad he had experienced his dysfunctional birth family throughout his childhood, from a safe distance. He knew what they were doing, but was not close enough to be really impacted by it. That has really encouraged me when it has been tough to keep the relationship open.
Praying
You said the parents had mental issues. Have you discussed with you attorney if they have the mental capacity to sign away their rights for adoption? I don't know how the laws go with mentally incapable parents. Just make sure you have your bases covered so their attorney can't come back later and say they didn't have the mental capacity to sign away their rights.
Sorry I brought that up. I worry about stupid stuff like that. Sending prayers your way.
We will probably not have an open adoption with Smileys' parents, but may with his sisters and grandma. We haven't decided yet.
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