Tuesday, September 25, 2007

One week ago

my life changed forever. Thankfully all is well but I'm still a changed person. Sleep is something that I am now getting a full night of again. Those images will forever be in my head. The sight of our truck sitting in the ditch/corn field...Hubby sitting on the passenger seat of one of the first responders pickups covered in blood (sorry - gross i know).....The ambulance guys loading Hubby onto the backboard and into the ambulance. Some of you have been thru similar situations...you know what I am talking about. I will be so happy to get this claim settled and get a new vehicle and start to move on. Nothing will ever change how I feel now inside. I truely realize now how fast your loved one can be taken away from you. Things you take for granted...telling your spouse/kids/family that you love them. To this day, I don't know if I told Hubby that I loved him that morning. I mean we do that every morning, but I don't REMEMBER doing it. Did we? Or were we in such a hurry that it just didn't get said. Not that it wasn't meant...just didn't get said? I'll never know. I am hopeful that in the days to come, my obsession with knowing where he is at all times will fade. Up until now, if he didn't call me when he got to work... I really didn't care. I just always assumed he was there and I would call him at noon and we'd talk and who really cared? Now we both panic if the other doesn't call when we think they should. He calls when he gets to work. I call when I leave home. I call when I get to work. I call at noon. He calls when he leaves work. He calls when he gets home. I call when I leave work. I know which way he is going to work and home from work. He knows which way I am going. Do we have OCD now???? If I don't know where he is I go nuts. I can't think straight until I find him and talk to him. Am I going nuts?????

Oh and yes we are STILL FIGHTING the insurance companies!

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