Mr. "Perfect" really isn't so perfect for me...decided he doesn't want to be "tied down" all of a sudden and went his separate way...not moving to my town next week afterall. I know in the end..it's better this way and I'll be ok...but I am soooo done with it all. Thankfully IUI's didn't work...but now I've got a $1000 medical bill to pay again...guess it's a good thing they take payment plans.
Gonna take a few days to regroup...get my life figured out...get my eating disorder back on track (as it's gone WAY OUT OF CONTROL this week).
Thanks for "listening".
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Where do I begin???
So much has happened in the past week...
Let's start with last weekend...
Went to watch my 11-yr-old nephew race in the NDMA(north dakota motocross association) final race of the season. He was in 1st place in his age group/category going into the weekend. He took 2nd for the weekend and 1st overall for the year! WAY TO GO J! While out there I had a nice "mini-vac" from real life. Got a sunburn...was lazy and sat around the camper...and ran into an old friend that I hadn't seen in 16 years! WOW..where does time go? We litterally were up ALL NIGHT Sat night talking about what we've done..where we're at in our lives, etc. He was my BEST friend when we were 15 yrs old and my parents HATED him (yes he was also a boyfriend at one point and I think that's why they hated him so much). Anyways..he moved away and we lost touch. Found eachother a few months ago..whereelse...but on Facebook.
So anyways...it was just really nice to see him again and we had a GREAT visit.
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We FINALLY hired someone for our part time position at work. She will start next Monday and I'm so excited to finally have some help. Maybe now I can actually take a REAL vacation. Hopefully she will enjoy the job and be here long term.
__________
Well there is so much more that has happened...but I don't have time to go into it all. Hope everyone is having a great week.
Let's start with last weekend...
Went to watch my 11-yr-old nephew race in the NDMA(north dakota motocross association) final race of the season. He was in 1st place in his age group/category going into the weekend. He took 2nd for the weekend and 1st overall for the year! WAY TO GO J! While out there I had a nice "mini-vac" from real life. Got a sunburn...was lazy and sat around the camper...and ran into an old friend that I hadn't seen in 16 years! WOW..where does time go? We litterally were up ALL NIGHT Sat night talking about what we've done..where we're at in our lives, etc. He was my BEST friend when we were 15 yrs old and my parents HATED him (yes he was also a boyfriend at one point and I think that's why they hated him so much). Anyways..he moved away and we lost touch. Found eachother a few months ago..whereelse...but on Facebook.
So anyways...it was just really nice to see him again and we had a GREAT visit.
__________
We FINALLY hired someone for our part time position at work. She will start next Monday and I'm so excited to finally have some help. Maybe now I can actually take a REAL vacation. Hopefully she will enjoy the job and be here long term.
__________
Well there is so much more that has happened...but I don't have time to go into it all. Hope everyone is having a great week.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Life....
Well we have interviewed 4 candidates for the part-time position...1 we like...1 is ok...1 is well-not-so-bad and 1 was a waste of our time. I mean really people....the job is FILING....that's about it...how hard is it to know your ABCs...really??? You graduated from college and still can't put things in ABC order???
Anyways...I'm stressed out beyond belief. I have worked 15 of the last 17 days and I'm worn out. Don't get me wrong..I love my job...but I need some time off. It's busy right now...harvest going on and sugar beets pre-harvest started today. We will go to 24/7 hours around the middle of Sept until sugar beet harvest is over (usually sometime end of Oct/beg of Nov). Now I don't have to work nights...but it gives us only 3/4 staff during the day because the other 1/4 is working at night. It makes my "day end" harder because we really don't ever have a "day end" and just makes things a little more time consuming.
I'm also lonely...it's really different to live ALL BY MYSELF. I love time to myself...but I'm missing KC. I can't wait until Sept gets here and he gets moved up here and we're done paying for 2 places to live. Right now we might get 12 hours together a week...and that's just not enuf for me! This long distance stuff is for the birds.
This weekend I am headed to watch my nephew J race in the ND Moto X finals. I can't wait! He's in 1st place in his class! WAY TO GO J! It will be a fun weekend spent with my brother and J and some friends. KC can't go as his brother is getting married on Friday and his nephew's bday is on Sunday so here's another weekend spent apart. :-( Excited to see J and my brother but sad that KC can't be there too. (His brother and fiance announced 2 weeks ago that they were getting married this Friday!)
Anyways...I'm stressed out beyond belief. I have worked 15 of the last 17 days and I'm worn out. Don't get me wrong..I love my job...but I need some time off. It's busy right now...harvest going on and sugar beets pre-harvest started today. We will go to 24/7 hours around the middle of Sept until sugar beet harvest is over (usually sometime end of Oct/beg of Nov). Now I don't have to work nights...but it gives us only 3/4 staff during the day because the other 1/4 is working at night. It makes my "day end" harder because we really don't ever have a "day end" and just makes things a little more time consuming.
I'm also lonely...it's really different to live ALL BY MYSELF. I love time to myself...but I'm missing KC. I can't wait until Sept gets here and he gets moved up here and we're done paying for 2 places to live. Right now we might get 12 hours together a week...and that's just not enuf for me! This long distance stuff is for the birds.
This weekend I am headed to watch my nephew J race in the ND Moto X finals. I can't wait! He's in 1st place in his class! WAY TO GO J! It will be a fun weekend spent with my brother and J and some friends. KC can't go as his brother is getting married on Friday and his nephew's bday is on Sunday so here's another weekend spent apart. :-( Excited to see J and my brother but sad that KC can't be there too. (His brother and fiance announced 2 weeks ago that they were getting married this Friday!)
Thursday, August 12, 2010
So much going on...
Please pray for my cousin L. She is 18-years-old...She contacted me last night and told me of her plan to end her life....I got a hold of her parents and she is ok today...but is VERY UPSET with me for "breaking her trust". I know I did the right thing...but she has a VERY LONG ROAD ahead of her to sorting out her life. I've been on the phone with her and her parents and another cousin A all night....I need sleep...but I'm at work because we are interviewing 2 candidates for the part-time position in our office today.
Also I found out my ex-hubby's little brother rolled his pickup yesterday afternoon. He is 17. His nieces (age 7 & 12) and 2 of ex-hubby's new girlfriends kids (age 12 & 10) were all in the pickup. No seatbelts. Driver and 12 yr old niece were thrown out. Rest stayed in. Driver has broken leg/hip on one side and broken ankle on the other. 12-yr-old niece was airlifted to big town hospital. Rest were taken to local hospital....All will be ok...but asking for prayers for that family. Ex-father-in-law is laying in big town hospital with kidney failure right now also.
Also I found out my ex-hubby's little brother rolled his pickup yesterday afternoon. He is 17. His nieces (age 7 & 12) and 2 of ex-hubby's new girlfriends kids (age 12 & 10) were all in the pickup. No seatbelts. Driver and 12 yr old niece were thrown out. Rest stayed in. Driver has broken leg/hip on one side and broken ankle on the other. 12-yr-old niece was airlifted to big town hospital. Rest were taken to local hospital....All will be ok...but asking for prayers for that family. Ex-father-in-law is laying in big town hospital with kidney failure right now also.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
IUI #2
Tested this morning...BFN....Now we wait until I get my cycle and go from there....I'll blog more later.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Going Private Again...
Ok...so since my family and KC's family do NOT know we are TTC...I've decided to make this private again. I just don't want someone to be searching the internet and find this by "mistake" and figure out who I am IRL and ruin any "surprise" that may be still kept quiet to them.
_____________________
KC is here for the weekend. It's so nice to have him here. Last night we got a call from one of the service technicians from my employer whose dad is in the hospital and we ended up going over to his house to babysit while he went back to the hospital (his wife was at work). Really makes me feel good that he thought of us to call when he needed something. Kids were all in bed so it's not like it was too tough to babysit and actually I just went back to sleep on the couch but still..nice to be able to help out.
Well I am at work today while KC is doing his "honey-do-list" at the house. He is so cute. Here's our conversation at 1am on our way home from tech's house...
KC: So what do I need to get done tomorrow?
Me: Clean and organize garage. Spray Round-up around house and fence. Call CW and check on price of scrap metal/copper so we can get rid of it. Start breaking down the pile of branches in the backyard so we can have a bonfire. Oh and cook me lunch at 1:00pm. :-)
KC: that's all?
Me: For now...I'll think of more.
LOL...he's so happy to have "our" house and so am I.
Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend...I work all day tomorrow too..so will be a short one for me.
_____________________
KC is here for the weekend. It's so nice to have him here. Last night we got a call from one of the service technicians from my employer whose dad is in the hospital and we ended up going over to his house to babysit while he went back to the hospital (his wife was at work). Really makes me feel good that he thought of us to call when he needed something. Kids were all in bed so it's not like it was too tough to babysit and actually I just went back to sleep on the couch but still..nice to be able to help out.
Well I am at work today while KC is doing his "honey-do-list" at the house. He is so cute. Here's our conversation at 1am on our way home from tech's house...
KC: So what do I need to get done tomorrow?
Me: Clean and organize garage. Spray Round-up around house and fence. Call CW and check on price of scrap metal/copper so we can get rid of it. Start breaking down the pile of branches in the backyard so we can have a bonfire. Oh and cook me lunch at 1:00pm. :-)
KC: that's all?
Me: For now...I'll think of more.
LOL...he's so happy to have "our" house and so am I.
Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend...I work all day tomorrow too..so will be a short one for me.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
A Little of this...and a little of that...
Ok so work is super busy these days...afterall, we are in full-swing wheat harvest to be soon followed by pre-lift sugar beets and then soybeans and corn. I don't see a "boring" day until oh let's see..NOVEMBER! But oh well.
Tonight I will make the drive back to the town KC and I shared an apartment in to pick him up and bring him up here to my town for the weekend. I so can't wait for Sept to get here so he gets moved up here!!! It sure makes for a long week alone and when you're TTC...it's really difficult. I've had to make lots of trips back to his town during the week for doc appts and "timing" issues and I will be so thankful when that doesn't have to happen.
So I started spotting Tues night and then it quit again on Wed afternoon....hmmm could it be? I'm not getting my hopes up...but we'll see. I want to get my hair colored...but what if it did work this time? i have heard that you shouldn't color your hair when you are pg. Anyone know what the deal is?
I also started taking a baby asprin last night. One/day. My twin sis who is an RN,BSN suggested it due to her issues when she was pg. She told me that since we are identical twins...it won't hurt to be safe than sorry. I will talk to the doc about it at my next appt.
So back to work....
next week we will sit down and choose who we should interview for our part time receptionist position. Tell me if I am over reacting...but when the position clearly states that it is filing, answering phones and doing advertising and requires a STRONG proofreading ability...and you send in your resume with both spelling errors and alignment errors...are you qualified? 1st impressions are everything right? I can not believe that we have gotten in 4 resumes with errors on them???? It makes it kinda hard to even look at those resumes. Guess I can't stress over it...I just hope we find the "right" person for the job.
Tonight I will make the drive back to the town KC and I shared an apartment in to pick him up and bring him up here to my town for the weekend. I so can't wait for Sept to get here so he gets moved up here!!! It sure makes for a long week alone and when you're TTC...it's really difficult. I've had to make lots of trips back to his town during the week for doc appts and "timing" issues and I will be so thankful when that doesn't have to happen.
So I started spotting Tues night and then it quit again on Wed afternoon....hmmm could it be? I'm not getting my hopes up...but we'll see. I want to get my hair colored...but what if it did work this time? i have heard that you shouldn't color your hair when you are pg. Anyone know what the deal is?
I also started taking a baby asprin last night. One/day. My twin sis who is an RN,BSN suggested it due to her issues when she was pg. She told me that since we are identical twins...it won't hurt to be safe than sorry. I will talk to the doc about it at my next appt.
So back to work....
next week we will sit down and choose who we should interview for our part time receptionist position. Tell me if I am over reacting...but when the position clearly states that it is filing, answering phones and doing advertising and requires a STRONG proofreading ability...and you send in your resume with both spelling errors and alignment errors...are you qualified? 1st impressions are everything right? I can not believe that we have gotten in 4 resumes with errors on them???? It makes it kinda hard to even look at those resumes. Guess I can't stress over it...I just hope we find the "right" person for the job.
Ok...to clarify a few things...
For those of you who have followed me for many years let me try to break this down...
1. No adoptions with foster kids actually went thru...either do to the courts or do to us backing out.
2. Hubby that I did foster care with are divorced. I didn't realize it at the time..but came to realize that he is a very emotionally and verbally abusive and controlling person.
3. I was hospitalized in 2008 for 13 weeks total (2 different hospital stays) for my eating disorder/depression. It was during this time and thru extensive counseling that I began to "wake up" from the life I was living. In a hard to understand way...my ED/depression saved my life. Without seeking treatment when I did...God only knows where I would be today.
4. Mr. Right is NOT my hubby that I did foster care with. KC and I met thru some mutual friends. I FINALLY know what I want out of life and know what it is like to be treated as a PRINCESS and a human being. (although like I said...at the time with ex-hubby I didn't see there was any other way to be treated).
5. KC and I are trying to get pregnant. I've had A LOT of female issues in the past year and was told "now or never". No we are not married. I know there are people who do not agree with our decision to start a family out of wedlock...but it's a decision we made together and one we are ready and willing to take on.
6. Bought a house in a new town 2 hours away from ex-hubby and my parents. LOVE LOVE LOVE my new job doing accounting for a big name agriculture equipment company. Been at this job for 15 months now and couldn't be happier. Just closed on my very first home this past June.
I hope this helps to clarify some things.
1. No adoptions with foster kids actually went thru...either do to the courts or do to us backing out.
2. Hubby that I did foster care with are divorced. I didn't realize it at the time..but came to realize that he is a very emotionally and verbally abusive and controlling person.
3. I was hospitalized in 2008 for 13 weeks total (2 different hospital stays) for my eating disorder/depression. It was during this time and thru extensive counseling that I began to "wake up" from the life I was living. In a hard to understand way...my ED/depression saved my life. Without seeking treatment when I did...God only knows where I would be today.
4. Mr. Right is NOT my hubby that I did foster care with. KC and I met thru some mutual friends. I FINALLY know what I want out of life and know what it is like to be treated as a PRINCESS and a human being. (although like I said...at the time with ex-hubby I didn't see there was any other way to be treated).
5. KC and I are trying to get pregnant. I've had A LOT of female issues in the past year and was told "now or never". No we are not married. I know there are people who do not agree with our decision to start a family out of wedlock...but it's a decision we made together and one we are ready and willing to take on.
6. Bought a house in a new town 2 hours away from ex-hubby and my parents. LOVE LOVE LOVE my new job doing accounting for a big name agriculture equipment company. Been at this job for 15 months now and couldn't be happier. Just closed on my very first home this past June.
I hope this helps to clarify some things.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Stress...
Where do i begin with this post?
Work is busy..obviously it is harvest time and things are bound to be busy...but without a helper at work...it just really seems overwhelming at times. i don't know which end is up.
Does it make sense that on one hand my stress is less now that I don't have to "babysit" a 2-year-old and yet it's more stressful because I have so much more to do???
We've been getting a lot of applications/resumes for the position. The problem is...most..ok all buy 1 of them...are OVER qualified for the job. Not that that is necessarily a BAD thing..but I'm afraid that they will get bored when they realize what the job really is and we'll be in this same position in a few months. This is the first time I've been in a position to have a say in the hiring process so it's a great learning experience and yet stressful at the same time.
Hopefully boss and I can sit down and take a look at things next week once we have our July month end finished up.
***************************
Possible TMI...
On the IF side of things...been experiencing some light spotting already. IUI was just last Saturday. Weird. Also having some pain on my right side but that was the ovary that had all the follicles in it so I am assuming that is what that is from. 10 days to test day...and counting.
Work is busy..obviously it is harvest time and things are bound to be busy...but without a helper at work...it just really seems overwhelming at times. i don't know which end is up.
Does it make sense that on one hand my stress is less now that I don't have to "babysit" a 2-year-old and yet it's more stressful because I have so much more to do???
We've been getting a lot of applications/resumes for the position. The problem is...most..ok all buy 1 of them...are OVER qualified for the job. Not that that is necessarily a BAD thing..but I'm afraid that they will get bored when they realize what the job really is and we'll be in this same position in a few months. This is the first time I've been in a position to have a say in the hiring process so it's a great learning experience and yet stressful at the same time.
Hopefully boss and I can sit down and take a look at things next week once we have our July month end finished up.
***************************
Possible TMI...
On the IF side of things...been experiencing some light spotting already. IUI was just last Saturday. Weird. Also having some pain on my right side but that was the ovary that had all the follicles in it so I am assuming that is what that is from. 10 days to test day...and counting.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Ok...I'm here
Well if anyone is still there...I'm going to TRY and be better at this now...I've got something to blog about...
1st and foremost...I BOUGHT A HOUSE!!!! I'll post pictures soon. I closed on it in June and LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. It's a small 2 bedroom/1 bath home that was a 1 owner home. It's 60 yrs old but is in VERY good shape. I am busy doing remodeling and updating and can't wait to show it off!
2nd...Mr Right and I are still together and happy as can be. We have begun fertility treatments to try and start a family. :-) So far IUI#1 resulted in a BFN. IUI #2 was just done last Saturday...so keep your fingers crossed. His counts are low so not holding out much hope. If IUI#2 fails...we will move on to IVF.
3rd...my job is AWESOME! I love working in the agriculture field and doing what I do. Getting busy now with harvest season and my "helper" just quit on the spot...said I was too "harrassing" but couldn't come up with any examples and refused a meeting with me, her and the big boss. Guess that means...it was just her cop out way to get out of doing the "fun" office work of filing, etc. Oh well...job security for me and at least I can't say I'm bored at work.
So since I don't have time to catch up with everyone...whatcha been up to?
1st and foremost...I BOUGHT A HOUSE!!!! I'll post pictures soon. I closed on it in June and LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. It's a small 2 bedroom/1 bath home that was a 1 owner home. It's 60 yrs old but is in VERY good shape. I am busy doing remodeling and updating and can't wait to show it off!
2nd...Mr Right and I are still together and happy as can be. We have begun fertility treatments to try and start a family. :-) So far IUI#1 resulted in a BFN. IUI #2 was just done last Saturday...so keep your fingers crossed. His counts are low so not holding out much hope. If IUI#2 fails...we will move on to IVF.
3rd...my job is AWESOME! I love working in the agriculture field and doing what I do. Getting busy now with harvest season and my "helper" just quit on the spot...said I was too "harrassing" but couldn't come up with any examples and refused a meeting with me, her and the big boss. Guess that means...it was just her cop out way to get out of doing the "fun" office work of filing, etc. Oh well...job security for me and at least I can't say I'm bored at work.
So since I don't have time to catch up with everyone...whatcha been up to?
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