I don't know if I've said the decision was made for sure or not so here it is. Respite is going to happen!!! :-) I think I'm way more excited than Hubby but I also am the one who deals with the kids way more than Hubby. We will go on Sat afternoon to meet the Respite family. Just spend a half hour or so getting the kids acquainted. Then this Sunday they will watch the kids for a couple hours in the afternoon. Then the following Friday, Nov 9, I will drop the kiddos off at their home on my way home from work. There's no school for either kids Nov 9 or 12 so they will both be at daycare so I can save myself some extra miles. Then I will ENJOY a weekend to do what I want to do and pick the kiddos back up again on Sunday late afternoon. Hubby may end up working, we don't know yet, but even if he works on Sat, we will still have Sat night and sunday most of the day to ourselves! What to do...what to do????
So here begins my countdown....9 days and counting...
(Is it wrong to be so excited?????)
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
I'm still feeling depressed and
I HATE FEELING THIS WAY!
Yet again, I'm taking some cash outta my pocket and giving it to my employer so that the salesman can sell a car and the business can make a profit. (Not literally, but my commission is based on a percentage of the total finance reserves less bank fees. So for example, when our wonderful GM agrees to a $700 bank fee and we only had $300 in reserves, it's a big whopping (-$400) against my commission. As if this isn't bad enough...the deal originally had a $1900 bank reserve on it. SO not only do I now get hit with the bank fee, I lost $1600 in bank reserve from the original deal. This is due to the fact our salesman INCORRECTLY recorded the customers gross monthly income and so upon trying to prove that income - it was discovered that it was $6000/month less than originally stated.) Last month I "gave" the business $40 on 1 deal! Am I wrong for being just a little perturbed???? What's wrong with this picture??? I didn't realize how much I was PAYING my employer to let me work here.
Last night JP was a BRAT on the way home. He didn't want to listen at all. Report cards came home yesterday and he has a lot of "N's" on his. N standing for Needs Improvement. Ok, so we know he is extremely delayed but I was trying to work with him on learning our phone number on the way home. (Remember - it's 25 miles so we had plenty of time). He all out REFUSED to even try. What a brat. I'd say...say 2-4-2 and he would say 4-2-6. or whatever. You get the point. He just would say numbers that were totally not what I was saying. We've tried this before and I know he knows the 1st three numbers. That's all I want him to learn at this point and yet he doesn't even try. I blew up in the car at him. I told him I was tired of the way he was treating me. He shows me no respect and he doesn't treat daddy this way. He doesn't even act like this when daddy is around. Just mommy and it's not fair to mommy. I didn't do anything to him. I am just trying to help him and his teacher said he needs to learn his phone number. He's a big boy in Kindergarten and needs to do his homework. He got very quiet after that. I know i shouldn't have lost my temper but it has been a long time coming. I watch the way the kids act when Hubby is around. It's totally different than when I am around alone. The mornings getting ready are the worst! I can NEVER please them.
Then Hubby got a not so nice report about little Miss Emilee during the AS program yesterday. She was running around SWEARING (yep my innocent little girl said naughty words) and hitting a boy. When we tried to talk to her about it..she got FURIOUS with us and told us she didn't have to talk about it. She said another little girl MADE her say those naughty words. Ok, whatever. Then at bedtime she thru and all out fit crying and screaming and yelling and throwing things at the top of her lungs. When i finally had had enough, I had Hubby stand outside her door so he could hear what I was saying and I went in to talk to her. I asked her what her issues were. She told me she didn't know. I told her if she didn't know what was wrong, then there was no reason to be throwing such a fit. She stopped instantly. She asked if she still got to go trick or treating. I asked her if she thought she deserved to go? She said No. I told her I would make that decision based on how she acted the rest of the night and how her day in school was today. We'll see if we are going or not when she gets home from the bus tonight about 4pm.
I really don't know how much more of this I can take....
Yet again, I'm taking some cash outta my pocket and giving it to my employer so that the salesman can sell a car and the business can make a profit. (Not literally, but my commission is based on a percentage of the total finance reserves less bank fees. So for example, when our wonderful GM agrees to a $700 bank fee and we only had $300 in reserves, it's a big whopping (-$400) against my commission. As if this isn't bad enough...the deal originally had a $1900 bank reserve on it. SO not only do I now get hit with the bank fee, I lost $1600 in bank reserve from the original deal. This is due to the fact our salesman INCORRECTLY recorded the customers gross monthly income and so upon trying to prove that income - it was discovered that it was $6000/month less than originally stated.) Last month I "gave" the business $40 on 1 deal! Am I wrong for being just a little perturbed???? What's wrong with this picture??? I didn't realize how much I was PAYING my employer to let me work here.
Last night JP was a BRAT on the way home. He didn't want to listen at all. Report cards came home yesterday and he has a lot of "N's" on his. N standing for Needs Improvement. Ok, so we know he is extremely delayed but I was trying to work with him on learning our phone number on the way home. (Remember - it's 25 miles so we had plenty of time). He all out REFUSED to even try. What a brat. I'd say...say 2-4-2 and he would say 4-2-6. or whatever. You get the point. He just would say numbers that were totally not what I was saying. We've tried this before and I know he knows the 1st three numbers. That's all I want him to learn at this point and yet he doesn't even try. I blew up in the car at him. I told him I was tired of the way he was treating me. He shows me no respect and he doesn't treat daddy this way. He doesn't even act like this when daddy is around. Just mommy and it's not fair to mommy. I didn't do anything to him. I am just trying to help him and his teacher said he needs to learn his phone number. He's a big boy in Kindergarten and needs to do his homework. He got very quiet after that. I know i shouldn't have lost my temper but it has been a long time coming. I watch the way the kids act when Hubby is around. It's totally different than when I am around alone. The mornings getting ready are the worst! I can NEVER please them.
Then Hubby got a not so nice report about little Miss Emilee during the AS program yesterday. She was running around SWEARING (yep my innocent little girl said naughty words) and hitting a boy. When we tried to talk to her about it..she got FURIOUS with us and told us she didn't have to talk about it. She said another little girl MADE her say those naughty words. Ok, whatever. Then at bedtime she thru and all out fit crying and screaming and yelling and throwing things at the top of her lungs. When i finally had had enough, I had Hubby stand outside her door so he could hear what I was saying and I went in to talk to her. I asked her what her issues were. She told me she didn't know. I told her if she didn't know what was wrong, then there was no reason to be throwing such a fit. She stopped instantly. She asked if she still got to go trick or treating. I asked her if she thought she deserved to go? She said No. I told her I would make that decision based on how she acted the rest of the night and how her day in school was today. We'll see if we are going or not when she gets home from the bus tonight about 4pm.
I really don't know how much more of this I can take....
Monday, October 29, 2007
Feeling crummy
Ok, this is your warning..I'm having a horrible day and I'm going to just vent...
I hate my job. (did you figure that out from the last post??)
I hate my job.
I hate my job.
(I think you get the idea).
I'm tired.
I'm tired of the crap people are pulling here at work.
I'm tired of the kids' behavior issues.
I need a break from my job.
I need a break from my kids issues. (notice I didn't say from the kids)
I need a break from everything going on in my life.
I cry at the smallest thing. Something that would normally make me laugh, is making me cry. I have too much on my plate right now but I don't know how to get anything off my plate either. There isn't really anything that can be taken off right now. It's only going to get worse too with the lovely holidays coming up.
I am being taken advantage of at my job and I know it and I'm so tired of people backstabbing other people around here that I could scream. Our office manager/HR director is the worst! She thinks her poop doesn't stink. I have gotten a certain part of my job given back to me 3 weeks in a row. It always has the same stuff on it and it's stuff that SHE needs to do. Payments she says aren't made, are made. She just needs to book them. incentives she says haven't been claimed - have been. I have the proof that it is done from my end. It's her end that needs fixing but you can't tell her that. She was complaining to another lady in the office about me and saying, "Well I guess I'll just have to do it myself". I showed P the stuff - she knows it's not me. I then went to our GM and talked with him. He had a nasty note from HR about me. I didn't do it - it's HER not doing HER job. Mine is done. If I was wrong...I'd take the blame and do the corrections, but I can honestly say...IT'S NOT ME!
This am JP would not eat breakfast. He was awake at 6:20am and was told to go back to bed and that made him mad so that was the end of a good morning. I'm sorry buddy, but there is no reason that you are up at 6:20am! (I usually wake them about 6:50-7:00am). I heard him in his room playing instead of laying down like I asked him to do, but I never went in there because I was choosing my battles and that wasn't one I wanted to fight today. When I finally went to get him, he refused to take his medicine. Then he had to go to the bathroom (you could set you clock by him going to the bathroom - I know TMI). He litterly played in the bathroom for 15 minutes by just sitting on the toilet. UGH! By now it's 7:10am. I asked him if he wanted to eat breakfast.
Me: Let's get up to the table and have a poptart and some juice
JP: NO
Me: You need to eat, honey. It's a long time until lunch at school.
JP: I don't want to eat.
Me: Ok, then get in your room and get dressed first. Your clothes are on your bed.
JP: I don't want to get dressed
Me: You don't have a choice. You have school today (Leading him to his room)
JP: I wanna eat breakfast.
Me: You told me you didn't want to. Get dressed first - then get up to the table and eat.
JP: NO
Me: Whatever (walking away)
JP: (in his room) I WANT TO EAT FIRST!
Me: Get dressed first. Then come and eat and you need to hurry up. (It's now 7:20am)
JP: NO
Me: JP - It's your choice. Either dress yourself and come eat or I'll dress you once I'm ready to go and by that time there won't be time for you to eat. You choose!
JP: NO
So I go finish getting ready for work and getting Emilee ready for the bus. Then I go check on him and he's still sitting on the floor in his bedroom in his underwear (which happens to be a pull up right now because we have had some poop in our underwear EVERY day for the last week.)
I feel a little guilty sending him to school in a pull-up but at least in Kindergarten they have a bathroom right in their room so it's a single stall and he doesn't have to be embarrassed. Yet, if he's pooping in his underwear in school...that's GROSS!
I'm worrying about how I'm going to tell the kids that they are going to a respite home. I know what that is going to bring for behaviors but I NEED a break. I'm worn out. Mentally, physically, emotionally...I can't do this much more without something. Hubby helps out but he's super busy at work with harvest and was working until 11pm 4 nights last week. When he is home, he is busy trying to get the yard ready for winter. I don't blame him for not being in the house much...the yard does need a lot of work before the snow flies. I wish I could help him but I can't trust the kids in the house by themselves and when they leave their hats/gloves in their lockers EVERY NIGHT, they can't play outside. JP is CONSTANTLY losing his stuff and it's ending up in the lost and found at school. I thought 3 hats/pairs of gloves for each of them would be enough...guess not. What am I supposed to do when they don't have anything at home to wear to school on their head/hands each morning? I feel terrible sending then with nothing on, but I can't keep going to buy them more and more just because they can't seem to bring it home.
I probably need to try to find someone to talk to that really understands how I am feeling. Hubby tries, but he just doesn't get it sometimes. My family listens but they don't understand.
I'm just really feeling depressed today. Hopefully the kids will be better tonight and things will go more smoothly. I'm going to email the place where I applied for a new job and see if they have made a decision or have any questions. Maybe that will help my mood; yet I'm scared to get turned down. If I don't ask, then I can still have hope, right???
I hate my job. (did you figure that out from the last post??)
I hate my job.
I hate my job.
(I think you get the idea).
I'm tired.
I'm tired of the crap people are pulling here at work.
I'm tired of the kids' behavior issues.
I need a break from my job.
I need a break from my kids issues. (notice I didn't say from the kids)
I need a break from everything going on in my life.
I cry at the smallest thing. Something that would normally make me laugh, is making me cry. I have too much on my plate right now but I don't know how to get anything off my plate either. There isn't really anything that can be taken off right now. It's only going to get worse too with the lovely holidays coming up.
I am being taken advantage of at my job and I know it and I'm so tired of people backstabbing other people around here that I could scream. Our office manager/HR director is the worst! She thinks her poop doesn't stink. I have gotten a certain part of my job given back to me 3 weeks in a row. It always has the same stuff on it and it's stuff that SHE needs to do. Payments she says aren't made, are made. She just needs to book them. incentives she says haven't been claimed - have been. I have the proof that it is done from my end. It's her end that needs fixing but you can't tell her that. She was complaining to another lady in the office about me and saying, "Well I guess I'll just have to do it myself". I showed P the stuff - she knows it's not me. I then went to our GM and talked with him. He had a nasty note from HR about me. I didn't do it - it's HER not doing HER job. Mine is done. If I was wrong...I'd take the blame and do the corrections, but I can honestly say...IT'S NOT ME!
This am JP would not eat breakfast. He was awake at 6:20am and was told to go back to bed and that made him mad so that was the end of a good morning. I'm sorry buddy, but there is no reason that you are up at 6:20am! (I usually wake them about 6:50-7:00am). I heard him in his room playing instead of laying down like I asked him to do, but I never went in there because I was choosing my battles and that wasn't one I wanted to fight today. When I finally went to get him, he refused to take his medicine. Then he had to go to the bathroom (you could set you clock by him going to the bathroom - I know TMI). He litterly played in the bathroom for 15 minutes by just sitting on the toilet. UGH! By now it's 7:10am. I asked him if he wanted to eat breakfast.
Me: Let's get up to the table and have a poptart and some juice
JP: NO
Me: You need to eat, honey. It's a long time until lunch at school.
JP: I don't want to eat.
Me: Ok, then get in your room and get dressed first. Your clothes are on your bed.
JP: I don't want to get dressed
Me: You don't have a choice. You have school today (Leading him to his room)
JP: I wanna eat breakfast.
Me: You told me you didn't want to. Get dressed first - then get up to the table and eat.
JP: NO
Me: Whatever (walking away)
JP: (in his room) I WANT TO EAT FIRST!
Me: Get dressed first. Then come and eat and you need to hurry up. (It's now 7:20am)
JP: NO
Me: JP - It's your choice. Either dress yourself and come eat or I'll dress you once I'm ready to go and by that time there won't be time for you to eat. You choose!
JP: NO
So I go finish getting ready for work and getting Emilee ready for the bus. Then I go check on him and he's still sitting on the floor in his bedroom in his underwear (which happens to be a pull up right now because we have had some poop in our underwear EVERY day for the last week.)
I feel a little guilty sending him to school in a pull-up but at least in Kindergarten they have a bathroom right in their room so it's a single stall and he doesn't have to be embarrassed. Yet, if he's pooping in his underwear in school...that's GROSS!
I'm worrying about how I'm going to tell the kids that they are going to a respite home. I know what that is going to bring for behaviors but I NEED a break. I'm worn out. Mentally, physically, emotionally...I can't do this much more without something. Hubby helps out but he's super busy at work with harvest and was working until 11pm 4 nights last week. When he is home, he is busy trying to get the yard ready for winter. I don't blame him for not being in the house much...the yard does need a lot of work before the snow flies. I wish I could help him but I can't trust the kids in the house by themselves and when they leave their hats/gloves in their lockers EVERY NIGHT, they can't play outside. JP is CONSTANTLY losing his stuff and it's ending up in the lost and found at school. I thought 3 hats/pairs of gloves for each of them would be enough...guess not. What am I supposed to do when they don't have anything at home to wear to school on their head/hands each morning? I feel terrible sending then with nothing on, but I can't keep going to buy them more and more just because they can't seem to bring it home.
I probably need to try to find someone to talk to that really understands how I am feeling. Hubby tries, but he just doesn't get it sometimes. My family listens but they don't understand.
I'm just really feeling depressed today. Hopefully the kids will be better tonight and things will go more smoothly. I'm going to email the place where I applied for a new job and see if they have made a decision or have any questions. Maybe that will help my mood; yet I'm scared to get turned down. If I don't ask, then I can still have hope, right???
I LOVE MY JOB...
I LOVE MY JOB...I LOVE MY JOB...I LOVE MYJOB....
If I think positive thoughts....will it come true??? Doubtful!
Hope you're Monday is going better than mine.
If I think positive thoughts....will it come true??? Doubtful!
Hope you're Monday is going better than mine.
Halloween has begun and other stuff
or at least the craze has officially begun in our household. Emilee had a Halloween carnival at her school on Sat night. Being the nice mom that I am, we went even though their behavior during the day on Sat wasn't exactly deserving of the fun night. Hubby even came with (he knew he'd be in the doghouse if he didn't!LOL). The kids were so cute. I do think I had more fun getting them ready than they had going! I will HAVE to take pictures of them on Wed night and post them. I'll save it as a surprise as to what they are going to be until then.... I'm so mean aren't I???
************************
Our weekend was otherwise uneventful. We had a visit from the adoption sw on Sat. She discussed for the first time with the kids what her job is. (Up until then, we had just told them that she was another sw). We also started the kids' Life Books for the adoption. That was fun. They weren't too interested in them though. Oh well.
Sat night we had supper at my parent's house before going to the carnival. MMMMMM was it good. I really can't wait for the holidays to be here so I can have some more home cookin'!
************************
I should here sometime this week whether or not I got the job. I'm not very optimistic as they told me at the interview that they would mail me out a job description and I've never gotten it. Guess that's not a good sign. Oh well...I'll keep looking.
************************
Our weekend was otherwise uneventful. We had a visit from the adoption sw on Sat. She discussed for the first time with the kids what her job is. (Up until then, we had just told them that she was another sw). We also started the kids' Life Books for the adoption. That was fun. They weren't too interested in them though. Oh well.
Sat night we had supper at my parent's house before going to the carnival. MMMMMM was it good. I really can't wait for the holidays to be here so I can have some more home cookin'!
************************
I should here sometime this week whether or not I got the job. I'm not very optimistic as they told me at the interview that they would mail me out a job description and I've never gotten it. Guess that's not a good sign. Oh well...I'll keep looking.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Words of Wisdom
Words of Wisdom (big thanks to Trace for posting these today)
****************************
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
****************************
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
****************************
Do not walk beside me, either.Just leave me alone.
* * *************************
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt or a leaky tire.
************************* * *
It's always darkest before dawn. So, if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
****************************
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
****************************
Always remember you're unique-- just like everyone else.
****************************
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
****************************
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
****************************
It is far more impressive when othersdiscover your good qualitieswithout your help.
****************************
If you lend someone $20,and never see that person again,it was probably worth it.
****************************
Remember, when someone annoys you,it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and smack that jerk upside the head.
****************************
The things that come to those who wait are what's left behind by those who got there first.
****************************
Never underestimate the powerof stupid people in large groups.
****************************
Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
****************************
Some days you are the bug,some days you are the windshield.
****************************
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
****************************
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
****************************
Timing has an awful lot to dowith the outcome of a rain dance.
****************************
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
****************************
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
****************************
I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
****************************
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
****************************
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
****************************
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
****************************
Generally speaking,you aren't learning muchwhen your mouth is moving.
****************************
Anything worth taking seriouslyis worth making fun of.
****************************
Diplomacy is the art of saying "good doggie"while looking for a bigger stick.
****************************
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away,and you have their shoes.
****************************
If Barbie is so popular,why do you have to buy her friends?
****************************
Experience is something you don't getuntil just after you need it.
****************************
Don't be irreplaceable;if you can't be replaced,you can't be promoted.
****************************
You can go anywhere you want if you look seriousand carry a clipboard.
****************************
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
****************************
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
****************************
Do not walk beside me, either.Just leave me alone.
* * *************************
The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt or a leaky tire.
************************* * *
It's always darkest before dawn. So, if you're going to steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
****************************
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
****************************
Always remember you're unique-- just like everyone else.
****************************
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
****************************
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
****************************
It is far more impressive when othersdiscover your good qualitieswithout your help.
****************************
If you lend someone $20,and never see that person again,it was probably worth it.
****************************
Remember, when someone annoys you,it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and smack that jerk upside the head.
****************************
The things that come to those who wait are what's left behind by those who got there first.
****************************
Never underestimate the powerof stupid people in large groups.
****************************
Taxation WITH representation isn't so hot, either!
****************************
Some days you are the bug,some days you are the windshield.
****************************
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
****************************
Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
****************************
Timing has an awful lot to dowith the outcome of a rain dance.
****************************
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
****************************
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
****************************
I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
****************************
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
****************************
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
****************************
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
****************************
Generally speaking,you aren't learning muchwhen your mouth is moving.
****************************
Anything worth taking seriouslyis worth making fun of.
****************************
Diplomacy is the art of saying "good doggie"while looking for a bigger stick.
****************************
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away,and you have their shoes.
****************************
If Barbie is so popular,why do you have to buy her friends?
****************************
Experience is something you don't getuntil just after you need it.
****************************
Don't be irreplaceable;if you can't be replaced,you can't be promoted.
****************************
You can go anywhere you want if you look seriousand carry a clipboard.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
A crazy week this has been
Monday and Tuesday were pretty quiet. Not a lot going on with work or at home or anything. I found out that we have a home visit with the adoption sw on Sat afternoon so have been busy trying to get the house "presentable". JP also came home with a note from his school that they have a confirmed case of Hand,Foot, Mouth disease in the school. YUCK! However, I didn't think too much of it on Monday night. Then on Wed morning I got a call from his teacher. He was complaining that his tongue hurt. She didn't see any blisters in his mouth but wanted to see what I thought. I told her to just watch him and call me if something changed. Well about 1 1/2 hrs later she called again. Another student from his class had blisters in his mouth and was being sent home. Well, ok, I'll come get him. I took him in to the doc right away and he found no blisters so we are in the clear (at least for now). Then him and I went home for the afternoon. I got a lot done so I guess it was ok to have the time off. Last night, he coughed ALL NIGHT LONG. Poor little guy. So we decided to keep him home from school today and let him rest. He just layed on the couch and watched cartoons all day. Even took a 3 hr nap. Now this is my child who has ADHD! It's not like him to just lay on the couch and do nothing. He didn't even try to talk to me about anything while he was laying there. Still no blisters though so maybe he's just catching a cold??? Let's hope so. I don't need to be off work for 7-10 days while this virus runs it's course. Hubby came home from work at 3:30pm so I could come into work for a couple hours. Not that we're overly busy but if I put in 2 hrs during the day, I can be paid for the whole day, so why not come in???? I've been playing games on line the whole time. Tough job!
Well other than the visit on Sat, no big plans for the weekend. I have "conned" mommy into cooking supper for us Sat night. I'm really craving a "home cooked meal" of meat, potatoes and gravy and she agreed to do it. I could make it myself but it never tastes as good as when she does it. Plus it's been ages since we've been to their lake home (and it's only 9 miles from our house!) I know, bad daughter!
So what are your plans for the weekend???
Well other than the visit on Sat, no big plans for the weekend. I have "conned" mommy into cooking supper for us Sat night. I'm really craving a "home cooked meal" of meat, potatoes and gravy and she agreed to do it. I could make it myself but it never tastes as good as when she does it. Plus it's been ages since we've been to their lake home (and it's only 9 miles from our house!) I know, bad daughter!
So what are your plans for the weekend???
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