ok, if you are following the other site, i'm staying somewhat vague about particular things on there because some of my IRL family and friends read that. The truth of the matter is this....
I want to quit therapy. I know I need it. I know I need to be there BUT with everything going on with the kids right now and Hubby's aunt dying of cancer, treatment is just more than I can emotionally handle right now. (In my mind). The problem...if I leave...will I ever come back??? And they told me on day 1 that if I sign myself out of therapy against medical advice...some insurance companies don't pay. I can't afford to pay for this. I'm really banking on what other people have told me in that it will get easier. The depression is the worst right now. I'm depressed every day. On a scale of 0 - 10 with 0 being good and 10 being bad we rate ourselves on numerous categories 2 times every day. My depression and anxiety were a 10 tonight. I dont' know what it is that is triggering this but it sucks the big one. I don't feel like i can state how truely bad I am feeling on the caring bridge site where my IRL friends/family read it.
To top off my crappy day...Hubby got a call this am that JP was suspended from school...yep look again 5 yr 7 months old! He's in DEVELOPMENTAL KINDERGARTEN for g-d's sake. He just flat out refuses to cooperate in school this week. We did make a med change last weekend and I think that is the main issue so I will call the doc tomorrow am and leave a voicemail to call Hubby at work to schedule and emergency appt. This is SO NOT JP!!!!
Upon returning to work after getting JP and taking him to daycare, Em's teacher called to say Em was having a bad day today. Em is blaming it on the fact that she misses Mom (me) and that Daddy got to spend the night with mommy the other night and the kids' didn't. They were in bed when I got home and I only saw them about 10 minutes in the morning before I left. What's she going to do when she finds out this is what it will be like for the next who knows how many weeks. Poor thing.
Can't think of anything to blog about. I'm finally yawning enough that I hope I can get some sleep. Good night.