Wednesday, April 18, 2007

How and Why we do it (as asked by Yondalla)

1. What is the story, reason, explanation for how you got into doing care?
Hubby and I got into foster care after dealing with infertility for about 3 years. We had been through NUMEROUS fertility treatments with the same result in the end - NOT PREGNANT. We went to a local adoption meeting and just didn't feel right about that. Even though we would love to adopt an infant we just didn't feel that we were at the right time in our life for that. Then we checked in foster care and within 2 weeks our paperwork was hurried thru and we had 2 boys in our home.

2. What do you wish you had known before you started?
A lot of things but to name a couple....A. That not all social workers give a rats butt about the kids they place in your home. All they want is the kid out of their hair and into yours. B. That they system does not always care what is in the best interest of the child. They care what is less headache for the courts to deal with.

3. What skill did you need to learn (or still need to learn!) to do it well?
How to attach to the children without attaching to them??? Does that even make sense? We learned quickly with G that we got attached to her in the wrong way. You can love the kids but to a point still have to keep a wall up emotionally or it can be very heartwrenching when they leave!

4. What is the best, most rewarding part of doing care?
Knowing that you are giving the children a safe home and love when they need it the most. Also being able to experience so many of the children's accomplishments with them!

5. How do you take care of yourself so that you can keep on giving care?
This has been a struggle for me. It took me a while to "Get Over" G leaving us. Basically I now don't let myself get to that point with our foster kids. I love them and treat them as I would my own and yet there is a wall that I put up so that I can protect my heart to a point. One thing I have found is that we eat better meals when we have kids in our house and we eat at a decent time of the evening. :-)

6. What did you learn about yourself from giving care?
I have learned that I was not a patient person to begin with . I have learned that you can not compare what you learn from one child to another child that is placed with you. I have learned that I am a pushover when it comes to that little face looking up at me smiling and saying "pease" instead of "please" :-)

I hope this helps someone out there. If anyone else has answered these questions, I'd love to see a link to your answers. Maybe I can learn something from you too!

1 comment:

Yondalla said...

I created the side bar and linked this post! I hope that others write a post on this theme. I would really love to see everyone's thoughts!