Need to Vent....

Ok. So I need to vent and it's off the subject of foster care/adoption. My identical twin sis is pregnant (AGAIN). She has not had easy pregnancies and the first one ended in the still birth of my nephew at 7 months along. This was followed by 2 miscarriages and then my nephew was born in 2004. Follow this by a miscarriage and then my niece was born last Nov. Now my niece is 5 months old and my sis is 4 months preggers again. I love my sis to death. WE are BEST friends (most of the time) and always have been. I'm happy for her that she is finally having the family she always wanted but truth be told I'M JEALOUS! She married into money and has no problem flaunting it. While we are not rolling in the bucks we do quite nice and are happy with our life. The problem is she is CONTINUALLY complaining about being pregnant. She had a rough pregnancy last time and spent the last 2 months on bedrest. I wish I knew how to make her understand that although she is uncomfortable I would do ANYTHING to have her problems. Then last night she gives me this sob story about going to CO this summer for a convention and her hubby is soooo busy with his job that she's going to HAVE to ask my mom to keep her kids for the week. Give me a break. I have a brother/sis-in-law that live in the same town as she does. She doesn't have her kids in daycare in the summer normally but I know her daycare lady would take them since she knows this far in advance but why pay daycare when mommy can do it for free??? My mom is not in the best health and should not be caring for 2 young kids. Granted my dad is there too but he does work all day. I'm just sooo tired of listening to her complain. What can I say? I don't want her mad at me but how do you make someone understand that her whining is driving me CRAZY!!! Any advice out there???

Baby placement

Well a member of the birth dad's family came out of the woodwork last Friday. Also there was a single parent family from the same town as where visits will take place. I just got a call from my social worker and they placed the child with the single parent family. Go figure. Oh well. Got more venting to do but will have to do that later this afternoon.

New Placement update FINALLY

Ok. So the little girl that is 7 didn't work out. The family she is with has decided to try and work out their problems and so she is staying put for now at least. Kinda bummed cause we were very interested in her but I guess someone higher up has other plans for us. In the end, if she can stay where she is and have a safe and happy home than that is what's best for her.

As for the baby boy we are still waiting to hear. We should know something on him late this afternoon or tomorrow sometime. Our home study has been sent to his county to review. They are a little worried because we do not live in the same town as where the visits are supposed to take place and their not sure how the travel arrangements will work out but I have said that if I can help in any way, I will. Anything to get him to our home. I'll keep you posted.

More placements on the horizon...

In the past 4 days we have received a call for 3 separate placements. The first being a 6 yr old boy and 4 yr old girl (siblings). These children we agreed to take into our home as a foster/adopt home as they already have a TPR. THEN we got to read the files on them and had to turn them down afterall. We are not a PATH home, but just a county home and this 6 yr old boy needed a PATH home or at least a home with WAY MORE TRAINING than what we have. I feel really bad because we were one of just a very few families that had agreed to take them but as we've learned from our short experience - the social workers did not tell us exactly what the circumstances were with him and made him out to be a lot better off than he truely is (poor kid). I feel bad but truth be told - we live on a farm and one of this child's problems was with animal cruelty! Ummm that doesn't fit with a farm lifestyle. Now why were we even chosen for this I have no clue. :-(

2nd placement call - another foster/adopt option. 7 yr old girl. This one we are very interested in and are in the process of learning more. We will be reading her complete file this weekend. Sounds like her only issues may be with attachment issues and some bedwetting. I think I can handle this one! :-) A little older than our original plan of action to begin our family with but I truely believe things happen for a reason and we'll see what goes on. This poor girl is in a foster/adopt home that is having some marital issues of their own. She has NO CLUE she is moving. Poor thing.

3rd placement call - yet another foster/adopt option. WOW! 3 in one week! This one we are MOST interested in because it is a baby approx 9 months old. This one also has the highest risk as they are trying to reuinfy with birth dad but they think he might voluntarily sign rights away if he knows the child will be in a good home. We will know more about this one next week. I would love to take both of these 2 kids but realistically that won't be best for either kid or us so we'll just and pray and see what happens.

Nothing else new in ND. We have had wonderful weather lately. Kinda cold and cloudy today but can't complain. Sounds like some flooding may be headed our way but hopefully not too bad. Guess this is one of the benefits to living in a double wide home - no basement and there will be a lot of people in a lot worse shape than me by the time it would actually get into my home!

New Placement short lived...

Well we received that new foster care placement we were expecting to happen on March 19, a week ago this past Wednesday. A 7 yr old boy with an EMH / ADHD diagnosis as well as a seizure disorder. This was a big adjustment for us as we have not had a child over 2 yrs of age in our home for over a year. Then to have one with such special needs took a little getting used to but it was great. On this past Monday they moved A to his grandmother's home. We also had a blizzard that started last Wed night and continued thru Friday so we got to spend an extended period of time at home. He LOVED playing outside. His bio dad doesn't EVER let him play outside from what we were told. He had never been to a farm so he thought that weas really cool. We went to my father-in-law's so A could see the pigs and cows. He even got to pet a cow - boy did that make his day. I'm not sure how I feel about him getting to go to his grandma's. The fact is - grandma lives below bio dad in the apt building. Dad is DD. It sounds like a simple case of neglect (can you call neglect simple?not sure). Mom is in and out of the picture and Dad is the main caregiver but from what I am told - Dad has a guardian of his own so how much responsibility should dad really have? I don't know how to feel on this one. But let me tell you - I learned a lot from this 7 yr old....he gave me lessons on what he knows about being drunk/having a hangover, playing Mortal Combat and other "killing" games on his PS2, how to eat with your fingers even it it's spaghetti you are eating...and soooo much more. This kid knew things that I didn't even know. Needless to say we had a lesson right off the bat about how to use a fork/spoon. He also has NEVER slept in a bed. Just sleeps on the floor with dad. Poor guy. I hope/pray that he is doing well.

Also yesterday we got a call from our local AASK agency. They have a 7 yr old girl that already has a TPR and is going to need to be moved to a new adoptive placement within the next 2 months. We are now waiting to hear that her file is ready so we can go look at it. Not sure how I feel about this but will keep you posted.

Well I'm not sure what to blog about....I just feel the need to write something. We got a call from our local agency today may have a 7yr placed with us in the near future. That's the oldest child we would have had since starting our foster care life about 1 1/2 yrs ago. We'll see what happens with him. We have until monday to make a decision cause it's not an emergency placement.

On a different note, does anybody out there do a scrapbook or anything to send home with kids when they leave your homes? I have done this for the kids we have had so far. I haven't given G her book yet. I'm waiting to see what happens with her adoption. I don't think her birth mom would want/appreciate it. L&L just got a few pages cause they were with us for such a short time. I also do a book for us to keep. In G's book, on the final page I put the lyrics to the song..."MY WISH" by Rascal Flatts. I heard this song the day G left us and cried immediately. It is sooo perfect and says exactly what we wish for her...and any other foster child that will come into our life.

"MY WISH" BY RASCAL FLATTS

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
and each road leads you where you want to go,
and if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.

and if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' 'til you find the window,
if it's cold outside,
show the world the warmth of your smile,
but more than anything, more than anything,

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you,
and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
all the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
and you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
and always give more then you take.
But more than anything,
Yeah, and more than anything,

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you,
and wants the same things too,Yeah, this, is my wish.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
your dreams stay big, your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you,
and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
this is my wish
i hope you know somebody loves you
may all your dreams stay big

ok -so did you cry at that one? every time I hear it I still get tears. It is just such a perfect song (in my opinion) for a child that has been thru what most foster care kids have. So let me know your thoughts....

News I'm not too sure what to do with...

Ok I just got a call from our local SS office. Our little girl foster daughter that is in the process of being adopted is not going as well as the adoptive family has hoped. The state is objecting to the adoption on many different grounds and I'm not sure how to feel about this. It has also been asked of us if we would be interested in having a relationship with G if/when the adoption goes thru. This is the hard one....do we want a relationship or not. Of course, my first instinct is to say YES!!! but will it be too hard? Afterall we've been thru? It would be like an "aunt/uncle" or special friends kind of relationship. I don't know what to do. What have your experiences with this been like? There is also the chance that our local SS office may be getting involved again too and they wanted to know if we would be willing to take her again if it came to that. That I did say yes to. This time, we know what we are getting into. There's so much more to this but it's time to head home from work so I'll finish more tomorrow....afterall - it's SURVIVOR night and I can't be late for that! :-)