Not much going on

Well there is not much going on in our lives. The kids' went to respite for the day last Saturday for the first time with the new family and it went very well. They didn't want to come home so we made another date for 2 weeks. :-)

I made an overnight respite plan with my daycare lady's daughter (my 3rd cousin to get technical) for this Friday night for BOTH KIDS!!! I'm sooooo excited. We've been trying to line this up for a while and FINALLY it will work out. Unfortunately I have to work on Sat but it will still give us Friday night with NO KIDS! K will pick the kids' up from daycare/school so I don't have to worry about that at all! Now what will we do with our alone time???? I see some snuggle time on the couch under a blanket in my future! (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)

Tomorrow I will be meeting another fellow IF blogger! I'm soooo excited for that too. Lunch here we come!

Gotta Love ND

So we are in for another storm this afternoon and tonight. YIPEE!!! At least this one is going to affect things tomorrow! :-) It's about time we get something during the week and not just ruining the weekends! LOL! 1-3 inches today with 3-5 more inches tonight! Yep...i'll be headed home before dark today.

For those of you living up here by me...stay warm and stay safe!

Thoughts

So we survived the blizzard like conditions that were upon on this past Saturday. We survived driving 30 miles South to pick up my sil and her friend and friends' daughter after they hit a pheasant and took out the radiator on my sil's vehicle Sat night in the yucky weather. (LONG STORY as to why they were even out on the road). Today is icky too. COLD, snow, windy. Winter Weather Advisory as they call it. Hubby said I have to follow him home tonight to be sure I can even get down our road. It's not nice in the country. ANyways, that's life. I wouldn't want to live in town.

So that brings me up to my thoughts that I have been having. As I said in an earlier post...I've been to the eating disorder institute in a nearby big city for an evaluation. Anorexia has been something that i have struggled with on and off since highschool. Last summer I weighed in 22 lbs more than what i weigh now. What scares me is that the first thing the first doc that I saw said to me was..."You understand that this will become part of your medical records. It is confidential but in the event that your medical records are ever subpoena'd by the courts, I will have to break confidentiality and they will be released". OK, I wanted to get up and walk out. This is my biggest fear. IF i consider going for treatment, what will that do to our chances of adopting? You always have to answer the question if you've ever been to a therapist or if you have ever doctored for any psychological issues? What do I do? So ok, once the stress passes, I may be able to gain back some of the weight I've lost. But what happens 2 years from now when I'm back in this situation? That's why I decided to go for help now. But do I really want help? I don't know. I hate this! I hate feeling this way. I'm sick of people telling me how good I look. I'm sick of people telling me to JUST EAT! I'm sick of Hubby telling me to JUST EAT! Last night we were cuddling on our bed watching tv. He layed his head on my stomach and then started whining about how uncomfortable he was. UGH! They lay on your pillow. I'm sick of people telling me they wish they had my problem and didn't want to eat. I wish I could look in a mirror and be happy about what I see. I wish I didn't have to look at EVERY piece of food and decide whether or not i DESERVE to eat it. UGH! I HATE FEELING THIS WAY!

Hubby isn't so out of it after all

This morning we were talking about cleaning out the bathroom closet of old/expired/unneeded cold medicines.

Hubby: We're gonna go thru the closet in our broom tonight

Me: Ok

Hubby: We can throw out all the infant stuff and teething meds

Me: Well if they're not expired, why throw them out??? You never know when we will get a call for an infant

Hubby: We're done.

Me: Done with What?

Hubby: I told you from day 1 that if Fostering EVER affected your health - then we would be done.

Me: Oh - we'll talk tonight.

Guess he's been paying attention. Depression + Visit to Eating Disorder Institute to discuss 20 lbs weight loss that I didn't have to loose = Affecting my Health.

Maybe this will all blow over???

Sad day...

Mom told me we had a death in the family today.....

Momma (my 17 yr old cat from when I was in Jr. High) hit my dad in the pickup today and was killed instantly. Yes you read that right - she ran into my dad's pickup this morning and hit her head on the wheel and she was killed instantly! :-( Her name was Momma but she had never had kittens. We just called her that and I have no idea why! This kitty had 9 lives.

She lived with us at my childhood home. Then with my grandparents while we moved. Then back at my parents lake home. Then with us while mom and dad moved again. THen at their farmstead. While living at the lake home with my parents, my mom had thought she had run over her and worried all day about coming home and having to bury my cat. She got home from work, buried the calico cat she had hit and 2 hrs later Momma came up to the door of the house and wanted in! It hadn't been Momma that she ran over (duh!).

I'm sad. It's weird. I know she was old and there were signs that her health was failing but SHE WAS MY CAT! Granted i have 8 cats at our farm now and stuff but it's still sad.

I guess it's the circle of life though, right? And mom's comment to me....How soon will you have kittens???? We need some here at the farm! Thanks mom! At least I know where to get rid of kittens this spring as with 7 female cats, we'll have PLENTY! Little does mom know...we've got a cat that is starting to look a little too plump for her own good at this time of year and our male cat who moved to the neighbors is back again so guess what will be at my house in the not too far off future!

The Meltdown

happened at Afterschool Program yesterday. Hubby got the call as I was at therapy and didn't take my phone with me. He had to leave work and go get her because they couldn't control her. She even tried to hit him. She wanted me to pick her up - not daddy. Too bad little girl...you don't get to vote. He was NOT HAPPY at all last night.

The scary part - i was sitting in therapy talking about how nervous I was worrying about when the shoe would drop and our good behavior would end. Man...if I had only known!

How sweet

I got home last night from work and Emilee had letter for me. It said..."I am sre four lst nit bt I stl love u mom".

She can be so darn cute and charming! but yes, it did melt my heart. Gotta love her!