I've been thinking a lot lately about what Mandy is going thru. (Mandy if you are reading this...please know this may be difficult for you to read sweetie!)
Eight years ago next month, my family was faced with the same type of tragedy. My twin sis found out at 28 weeks that her baby had died. She went thru labor and delivery. Her and her hubby and my parents all held "Logan". Then 4 days later, we had a small private family funeral. It was a VERY tough time for our whole family. Some days, I think infertility is a blessing. I can't imagine going thru what my sis and Mandy are having to deal with. I can understand to a point as I have been as close as possible, without it being my child. I went thru a period of HATING my sister for what SHE had done. When in reality...it wasn't her fault. No one could be "blamed". God does things for a reason. There is a reason that he called "Logan" home before we ever got to meet him. Maybe there was something "wrong" and God knew his life was better with him in heaven. I don't know why God does what he does, but I can only believe he knows what is best. We celebrate "Logan's" birthday every year. We know he is still with us in our hearts and watching over us. He is celebrating with my grandpa's in heaven now. I'm jealous that he gets to have hugs from my grandpa's and I don't. Anyways, I can't imagine losing "Logan" after he was here on earth. That would be so much more difficult (in my opinion).
I learned that just being there when my sister wanted to cry on my shoulder. Listening when she wanted to talk. Acknowleding that she did lose a child (some people don't agree with us) and that she needs time to mourn. Helping her celebrate his birthday every year. Remembering him on Memorial Day. It all matters. And just give that person a BIG HUG!!