Private Yet again

Ok...so my life is TOTALLY screwed up. I have gone private for many reasons. It's not like I am posting much on here but for my own safety...I need to be private. To make a long story short....I had to contact the police yesterday regarding a former co-worker who has been harrassing me to no end and started with some minor (if there is such a thing) threats yesterday.

Then my hubby told me that it is because of the way I dress that this sick old man (he's 50!....sorry for those of you in that age bracket but I'm only 29....I am NOT INTERESTED in a 50 yr old man) is being this way. As if it's MY FAULT that someone is practically STALKING me! Go figure. Hubby and I had it out last night. As you all are well aware...things have been rocky for a while. I've got A LOT to think about in the next few days/weeks.

My weight is dropping....fast. I haven't been to therapy for a month or so. I did call today and make an appt but I can't get in until Aug 13. UGH! I hope I'm not too far in the hole by then. Part of me wants back in IP or PHP treatment (inpatient or partial hospitalization) to get back on the right track but then I also feel like I am "hiding" from the real issues that are causing my ed. Plus part of me doesn't know if I WANT to fight ED anymore.

I'm just really not in a good place right now and now my best friend/my hubby is not there to support me right now. UGH! I give up.

Oh Yeah...I have a blog

Ok, so I know I have been VERY BAD AT BLOGGING LATELY! and I'm sorry. My heart just isn't in it right now.

On top of what I told you guys about last month...we've had some more good news turn sour. We were chosen by a young lady who some friends of our knows that was pregnant. She is 19 yr old. She was due Dec 31! She miscarried this past Tuesday. UGH! I had myself prepared for her to change her mind...I knew all the risks of things...I just NEVER thought she'd miscarry! I should know better. She was 17 weeks along. It was a boy! UGH! I'm really struggling right now. Although he wasn't our baby yet...I feel like I've lost a son. I just don't know how much more of this I can take.

Please bear with me as I take some time for myself. Things on the home front are VERY STRESSFUL right now. My ED is winning the battle (again) and I need to focus on me. It's just so hard right now. Plus to top all that off, hubby's cousin from Florida is home with her little boy. THey had a big family get together last night and announced that M is pregnant. Great! Just the news I wanted to hear. Needless to say I left shortly after that and hubby came home with his dad.

Please email me any news in your life that I need to know about. I am thinking about all of you VERY OFTEN!