Back to the hospital I go

9am tomorrow morning I am being admitted as a Partial Hospitalization Patient. As long as I am "medically stable" I will stay PHP. If I am not "medically stable", then I will be inpatient. Please pray that all tests show I am stable. I CAN NOT be IP right now.

A LOT IS GOING ON

Found out this afternoon that kids are going home tomorrow at 7:15am. I don't even take them to daycare. Just straight to social services. Considering it is 6:30pm and I am still in Fargo (1 hr from home) and I have to pack everything up tonight..I outta get to bed by midnight! I don't even plan on leaving Fargo for another hour or two.

Doc appt today....I am waiting for a call as to when I will be accepted back at the hospital. At this point, I am told that it will only be partial hospitalization again. We'll see if that holds true. I don't know what to think. It's not a surprise. But i feel like i have let EVERYONE down. I just don't understand why this is so hard.

I don't have time/the heart/thoughts to write any more right now. I'll update more when I feel like I can.

Kids still here

Well the boys are still here. They really are good kids. We have had NO behavior issues at all. Not even an ounce of an issue. Granted...they are still pretty new but they seem to be adjusting pretty well.

Biomom had court today. Her parents made bail for her so she's out. Kids' may go home soon. That's the best thing in my world...I just can't ask to have them moved when I know they will go to family (whether it be mom or grandparents) as soon as they can.

I go to the doc tomorrow. I'm nervous as heck. Picked up the phone 3 times today to cancel the appt but never actually made the call. I guess that is a good thing. I am averaging 10-13 exchanges per day since July 29. THat's approx 600 - 780 calories per day. Not good but I can't seem to shake this. Am I headed back to Inpatient??? I don't know. I wish this wasn't so hard.

A new placement (Yep...just what I needed!)

So last Thursday afternoon we got a call for an emergency placement for 2 boys. 7 yrs old (8 in Sept) and 1 yr old. Good Kids...bad situation...(duh or they wouldn't be in foster care right?) Anyways, the sw called today to tell me that they have been instructed by law enforcement to keep the foster family COMPLETELY anonymous. Hmmm...now that scares me. We ALWAYS want to be anonymous...however...why are the COPS the one saying we HAVE TO BE ANONYMOUS????

Let's just say the family is involved in WAY MORE than I care to know about and they are not from this country.

So...eating is still not going well. Kenny and I are doing ok. He's taken a more interested aspect in my life....not sure if he can tell that I'm not doing good ED wise or what but I'll take it one step at a time. I've lost more weight. I'm only 6lbs from where I was when I was admitted to the hospital. And I have 8 more days until I can get in to see a therapist!