Court was CONTINUED!!! Big Surprise! NOT! SW called this morning to apologize for not calling me on Friday. Yeah whatever. Then she asked a bunch of questions about how the weekend went and how the kids are doing. I just told her fine. I really am not in the mood to go into a bunch of details. The weekend really did go pretty well for the most part.
JP decided yesterday that he wasn't going to lay down and rest so he picked his nose until it started to bleed and got blood EVERYWHERE in his room. His sheets/pillow/comforter/his clothes he was wearing/the carpet. You name it, he had blood there. I was so mad! I bet you could have seen steam rolling out of my ears! :-(. I asked him what happened.
Me: What happened? What was bleeding?
JP: "I didn't want to rest!"
Me: (I figured out it was his nose by now) So you picked your nose until it bled?
JP: NO!
Me: So how did it start bleeding?
JP: I didn't want to rest.
Me: Whatever.
Then I had him strip his bed of the bedding and bring it to the washing machine. Then he had to take his clothing off and give it to me so I could wash it too. Then he got a bath to wash the blood off himself and put his jammies on. He was not happy that he was getting his jammies on at 3:30pm in the afternoon but why should i dirty ANOTHER set of clothes when he was going to be getting ready for bed at 6pm anyways? (We had to call gma last night so they both got ready for bed early so we could watch PARENT TRAP on tv and be ready to call gma).
Other than this little episode, we really did have a good weekend. I didn't get everything done that I wanted to, but that is how it always goes. Oh well. My mess is still there tonight.
4 more days and we are leaving for Missouri for my cousins wedding!!!! I CAN"T WAIT TO GET AWAY!
Monday, July 30, 2007
Friday, July 27, 2007
Why don't the do what they say???
I talked with sw at 11:30am. She told me that she wasn't sure now if they would be calling me during court or not. Dad needed to be called so she wasn't sure how that was going to work. Dad doesn't even have a court-appointed atty so she was also pretty sure that we would just be continued for another 4 weeks or so. UGH! She told me (and I'm quoting her) "NO MATTER WHAT I WILL CALL YOU AS SOON AS COURT IS OVER SO YOU KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON!". Well, it's now 4;17pm and I haven't heard anything. I really doubt that they are still in court. Why can't she pick up a phone and just give me 30 seconds of her time and tell me what the verdict is? I don't understand some people. These are not dogs we're talking about...they are children. Beautiful, Wonderful children who deserve better.
She also told me that she can't get them into therapy until sometime in Sept! Hmmm, maybe you should have called 3+ weeks ago and made the appt and we would probably be able to get in in Aug sometime.
I am just so frustrated!
She also told me that she can't get them into therapy until sometime in Sept! Hmmm, maybe you should have called 3+ weeks ago and made the appt and we would probably be able to get in in Aug sometime.
I am just so frustrated!
Last night
Thank you Heather & FosterAbba for your kind comments. I still feel extremely bad about what I said to her but maybe she will get the hint. After all, she is old enough to know what she is doing.
Last night's bedtime went better. Actually it went PERFECT!!! Granted i had to work until 8pm so it was 8:30pm before we got home. Then it was jammie time, brush teeth and hugs to Hubby and off to bed. Hubby told Emilee that she needed to go to bed and stay there tonight(last night) and to tell me she was sorry. She did tell me she was sorry for the way she acted. I told her thank you and that I loved her and gave her a hug & kiss. SHE STAYED IN BED!!!!!! Thank heaven for small favors. I told Hubby he needs to be home for the next few days at bedtime and he said he would be. (Now we'll see if he actually is!~I know I'm so negative these days)
I'll update after court this afternoon.
Last night's bedtime went better. Actually it went PERFECT!!! Granted i had to work until 8pm so it was 8:30pm before we got home. Then it was jammie time, brush teeth and hugs to Hubby and off to bed. Hubby told Emilee that she needed to go to bed and stay there tonight(last night) and to tell me she was sorry. She did tell me she was sorry for the way she acted. I told her thank you and that I loved her and gave her a hug & kiss. SHE STAYED IN BED!!!!!! Thank heaven for small favors. I told Hubby he needs to be home for the next few days at bedtime and he said he would be. (Now we'll see if he actually is!~I know I'm so negative these days)
I'll update after court this afternoon.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Relief FINALLY and kid issues
the heat wave has broke at least for today. It's still in the 80's but it's raining so that is helping matters. It is supposed to be back in the 90's for the weekend but the humidity is supposed to be gone so that is what matters. I like hot weather. I just hate the humidity.
Well on the kid issue side of things. Last night was horrible. Let me first say that originally bedtime was 8pm. Then we moved it up to 7:30pm because the kids just seemed extremely over tired all the time. At their old foster home bedtime was 7pm. About 2 weeks ago we started our bedtime routine at 7pm so the kids were in bed by 7:15-7:20pm and we could read them a story. If they waste time and don't get ready as we ask, then they lose their story time. No matter what, they are tucked in bed, lights out by 7:25pm. We've been having issues with Emilee going to bed ~ or should I say NOT going to bed~ since day 1. Well lately it has been getting worse. Last night was it for me. First she didn't want to eat supper. It was "gross". However, the night before she had 2 helpings of the hotdish and told me it was her favorite. Then she got mad at me because I wouldn't let her have a brownie when she wouldn't eat supper. I told her to finish her hotdish and she could have a treat. Nope, she didn't want to do that, she just wanted to eat a brownie. Sorry, doesn't work that way Sweetheart! Plus Hubby has been busy haying so he hasn't been around lately and I think that is part of the problem. She knows she can get me going if she keeps at it long enough. Last night she hit and kicked me repeatedly. Hubby happened to call while we were still fighting about bedtime and he talked to her. Then he came home and talked to her again and she finally gave in and went to sleep. This was after we had been at it for 2 1/2 hrs. I don't know what to do with her. I could write every little thing she did /said to me but I would be here all night typing and you'd be here all night reading so I'll save you that headache. I actually am getting to the point where I hate to get done with work at night because I know what kind of evening I'm going to have. I told Hubby last night that at this point, I will not be accepting them as an adoptive placement if TPR happens tomorrow. We had Perm Plan over 2 weeks ago and I still don't have a date for our first Therapy appt and they want me to accept placement in Aug??? I don't think so. I'm not saying that I'm giving up on her or that we are for sure NOT going to adopt them; but maybe us backing down from accepting the placement at this point in our journey will get a fire lit under their butts and get us some of the services that these kids need. After all, it's been almost 8 weeks since they came to us. Other than changing the time they go to bed by 1/2 hr, the routine is still the same. They can't tell time anyways, so they really don't know that it's earlier unless I say something that night.
Kids have issues. Kids are not perfect. I know this. However, they do come with baggage and when we don't know what that baggage is and we're getting no help, I can't do this alone. I even have some resentment towards Hubby right now because he's not around. I know that it's not really his fault. Our cows and his dad's cows will need this hay this winter, but his little brother could get off his lazy little butt (it's not so little - the kid wears size 38 waist jeans) and help. It would do him good. Right now, I NEED Hubby at home with me and the kids.
I am also wondering if something in Emilee's past happened to her at night/bedtime. Was she abused? I don't know. Her sw doesn't think so. So why is it EVERY night at bedtime, we have these MAJOR issues????
Last night when she was yelling at me and telling me how much she hates me and doesn't want to live with me anymore, I looked at her and said, "Well, you know what. Keep it up and I'll call SW and tell her to come get you because right now I don't want you here either". That was wrong of me, I know it so you can refrain from commenting about it. But it was 2 hr + into our fight and I had just been kicked/hit and didn't care anymore. This morning, she was pretty meek and mild and didn't say to much to me. I'll let her cool down and we will need to sit down and talk but last night was it for me. I do not deserve to be hit and kicked. It's not like it was an accident. She did it on purpose.
UGH! What to do....what to do...what to do???? Guess we'll see what happens with TPR tomorrow.
Well on the kid issue side of things. Last night was horrible. Let me first say that originally bedtime was 8pm. Then we moved it up to 7:30pm because the kids just seemed extremely over tired all the time. At their old foster home bedtime was 7pm. About 2 weeks ago we started our bedtime routine at 7pm so the kids were in bed by 7:15-7:20pm and we could read them a story. If they waste time and don't get ready as we ask, then they lose their story time. No matter what, they are tucked in bed, lights out by 7:25pm. We've been having issues with Emilee going to bed ~ or should I say NOT going to bed~ since day 1. Well lately it has been getting worse. Last night was it for me. First she didn't want to eat supper. It was "gross". However, the night before she had 2 helpings of the hotdish and told me it was her favorite. Then she got mad at me because I wouldn't let her have a brownie when she wouldn't eat supper. I told her to finish her hotdish and she could have a treat. Nope, she didn't want to do that, she just wanted to eat a brownie. Sorry, doesn't work that way Sweetheart! Plus Hubby has been busy haying so he hasn't been around lately and I think that is part of the problem. She knows she can get me going if she keeps at it long enough. Last night she hit and kicked me repeatedly. Hubby happened to call while we were still fighting about bedtime and he talked to her. Then he came home and talked to her again and she finally gave in and went to sleep. This was after we had been at it for 2 1/2 hrs. I don't know what to do with her. I could write every little thing she did /said to me but I would be here all night typing and you'd be here all night reading so I'll save you that headache. I actually am getting to the point where I hate to get done with work at night because I know what kind of evening I'm going to have. I told Hubby last night that at this point, I will not be accepting them as an adoptive placement if TPR happens tomorrow. We had Perm Plan over 2 weeks ago and I still don't have a date for our first Therapy appt and they want me to accept placement in Aug??? I don't think so. I'm not saying that I'm giving up on her or that we are for sure NOT going to adopt them; but maybe us backing down from accepting the placement at this point in our journey will get a fire lit under their butts and get us some of the services that these kids need. After all, it's been almost 8 weeks since they came to us. Other than changing the time they go to bed by 1/2 hr, the routine is still the same. They can't tell time anyways, so they really don't know that it's earlier unless I say something that night.
Kids have issues. Kids are not perfect. I know this. However, they do come with baggage and when we don't know what that baggage is and we're getting no help, I can't do this alone. I even have some resentment towards Hubby right now because he's not around. I know that it's not really his fault. Our cows and his dad's cows will need this hay this winter, but his little brother could get off his lazy little butt (it's not so little - the kid wears size 38 waist jeans) and help. It would do him good. Right now, I NEED Hubby at home with me and the kids.
I am also wondering if something in Emilee's past happened to her at night/bedtime. Was she abused? I don't know. Her sw doesn't think so. So why is it EVERY night at bedtime, we have these MAJOR issues????
Last night when she was yelling at me and telling me how much she hates me and doesn't want to live with me anymore, I looked at her and said, "Well, you know what. Keep it up and I'll call SW and tell her to come get you because right now I don't want you here either". That was wrong of me, I know it so you can refrain from commenting about it. But it was 2 hr + into our fight and I had just been kicked/hit and didn't care anymore. This morning, she was pretty meek and mild and didn't say to much to me. I'll let her cool down and we will need to sit down and talk but last night was it for me. I do not deserve to be hit and kicked. It's not like it was an accident. She did it on purpose.
UGH! What to do....what to do...what to do???? Guess we'll see what happens with TPR tomorrow.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
HEAT WAVE!!!
Ok, I don't know who forgot to tell Mother Nature but this is NORTH DAKOTA!!! We are not supposed to have temps in the upper 90's/lower 100's for a week straight!!! Let alone heat index in the 110-115degree ranges! A day every now and then is fine but a week of this. Come on!!! The a/c can't even keep up here at work to keep the dealership cool. Ok, so the whole west side of the showroom is windows and I'm sure that has something to do with it, but still. They havev shades on them and it's still got to be pushing 85+ degrees in my office right now. It's a good thing everyone around here stinks or I'd be embarrassed.
Tomorrow there is supposed to be a cold front coming thru late in the day. :-) With that it brings the high probability that we will be dealing with SEVERE thunderstorms tomorrow night. So I'm prepared. We will be sleeping at my mom and dad's lake home. Just gonna go there to start with and get the kids to bed. That is so much easier than having to get them up in the middle of the night and leave.
It's also worrysome because of our animals at home during this heat wave. I make sure they all have plenty of water before I leave in the mornings, but WOW it's hot! At least i don't have to worry about watering my garden. My hubby has had a bad habit of leaving the gates open this year after feeding the cattle. Yep, you guessed it. The other day Emilee came out and said,"Ummm Mom, there is a black cow on the driveway by the fence". I was like, it's just pepper (the dog) cause daddy tied her up last night. Then I looked outside and didn't see any black cows on the driveway so I looked to the other side of the yard and there staring me down was one of our highlander/long-horn cross cows. Yep and they have LONG HORNS!!! I was like, Hubby, ALL OF THE COWS ARE OUT!!! So out we went to chase them back in. I walked around the corner of the house and was like "Oh shoot (but a little plainer english than that) the bull is out too!" The cows don't scare me. The bull scares me. So hubby and I chased them back in with no trouble; however, I have no idea how long they had been out. We were so lazy on Sunday that it was probably all afternoon. My corn/colorabi (?sp)/onions/lettuce is all gone out of the garden. They did leave my cucumbers alone though! :-)
Guess I don't have to worry about pulling weeds too much now. They whole thing can just be tilled except the little area around my cucumbers. Thanks Hubby, I really wasn't wanting much of a garden this year anyways.
You know as much as I'm complaining about the heat today, give me 6 months and I'll probably be complaining because we are having high temps in the -20 degree range. Actually I really don't mind that so much. You can always put on more clothes to keep warm....you can only take off so many layers here at work before it's inappropriate! ;-p
Tomorrow there is supposed to be a cold front coming thru late in the day. :-) With that it brings the high probability that we will be dealing with SEVERE thunderstorms tomorrow night. So I'm prepared. We will be sleeping at my mom and dad's lake home. Just gonna go there to start with and get the kids to bed. That is so much easier than having to get them up in the middle of the night and leave.
It's also worrysome because of our animals at home during this heat wave. I make sure they all have plenty of water before I leave in the mornings, but WOW it's hot! At least i don't have to worry about watering my garden. My hubby has had a bad habit of leaving the gates open this year after feeding the cattle. Yep, you guessed it. The other day Emilee came out and said,"Ummm Mom, there is a black cow on the driveway by the fence". I was like, it's just pepper (the dog) cause daddy tied her up last night. Then I looked outside and didn't see any black cows on the driveway so I looked to the other side of the yard and there staring me down was one of our highlander/long-horn cross cows. Yep and they have LONG HORNS!!! I was like, Hubby, ALL OF THE COWS ARE OUT!!! So out we went to chase them back in. I walked around the corner of the house and was like "Oh shoot (but a little plainer english than that) the bull is out too!" The cows don't scare me. The bull scares me. So hubby and I chased them back in with no trouble; however, I have no idea how long they had been out. We were so lazy on Sunday that it was probably all afternoon. My corn/colorabi (?sp)/onions/lettuce is all gone out of the garden. They did leave my cucumbers alone though! :-)
Guess I don't have to worry about pulling weeds too much now. They whole thing can just be tilled except the little area around my cucumbers. Thanks Hubby, I really wasn't wanting much of a garden this year anyways.
You know as much as I'm complaining about the heat today, give me 6 months and I'll probably be complaining because we are having high temps in the -20 degree range. Actually I really don't mind that so much. You can always put on more clothes to keep warm....you can only take off so many layers here at work before it's inappropriate! ;-p
Monday, July 23, 2007
What was she thinking....
Well the day is about over already and I'm just getting time to blog....
I ran into G's birth mom last Friday at lunch. Had I not been the next one in line to order, I would have turned around and walked out, but as it was I was trapped. She came up to the line and here's how our conversation went....
T: Hi Jody. How ya doing?
Me: Fine.
T: Any kids right now?
Me; Yep 2 of them.
T: How old?
Me: Excuse me, I have to order now. (Gave the lady my order & tried to make small talk to avoid T's question).
T: So what's the story on these two?
Me; Sister/Brother. Good kids. Gonna be in school this fall.
T: So gonna try to adopt these 2?
Me; Don't know what's happening yet.
T: I got to see G on Wed.
Me: Good for you.
T: She's so confused..she doesn't know if she should call me Mommy or T? So she just calls me Mommy T.
Me: Oh.
T: You know, we all kinda got screwed in court.
Me: Well I know WE got screwed in court, well I gotta go back to work. Bye.
Had there not been a TON of people in there eating I would not have been so polite. what does she mean We all kinda got screwed in court??? She got what she wanted. HER FRIENDS got MY little girl. I hope what she meant is that they aren't letting her visit as much as she wanted to. For G's sake, T has caused her enough pain for a 2 1/2 yr old.
This just ruined my whole afternoon/night. I am doing good. I've accepted what happened and moved on....So WHY WHY WHY did I have to see her???? Hubby told me I should have played dumb and just asked her where G was? Had I been quicker thinking, I just might have, but I was so worried about avoiding her that I didn't think that fast.
Some people just have no brains!!!
I ran into G's birth mom last Friday at lunch. Had I not been the next one in line to order, I would have turned around and walked out, but as it was I was trapped. She came up to the line and here's how our conversation went....
T: Hi Jody. How ya doing?
Me: Fine.
T: Any kids right now?
Me; Yep 2 of them.
T: How old?
Me: Excuse me, I have to order now. (Gave the lady my order & tried to make small talk to avoid T's question).
T: So what's the story on these two?
Me; Sister/Brother. Good kids. Gonna be in school this fall.
T: So gonna try to adopt these 2?
Me; Don't know what's happening yet.
T: I got to see G on Wed.
Me: Good for you.
T: She's so confused..she doesn't know if she should call me Mommy or T? So she just calls me Mommy T.
Me: Oh.
T: You know, we all kinda got screwed in court.
Me: Well I know WE got screwed in court, well I gotta go back to work. Bye.
Had there not been a TON of people in there eating I would not have been so polite. what does she mean We all kinda got screwed in court??? She got what she wanted. HER FRIENDS got MY little girl. I hope what she meant is that they aren't letting her visit as much as she wanted to. For G's sake, T has caused her enough pain for a 2 1/2 yr old.
This just ruined my whole afternoon/night. I am doing good. I've accepted what happened and moved on....So WHY WHY WHY did I have to see her???? Hubby told me I should have played dumb and just asked her where G was? Had I been quicker thinking, I just might have, but I was so worried about avoiding her that I didn't think that fast.
Some people just have no brains!!!
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Update on Court
I met with the kids' sw today. She told me that the kids' dad has re-surfaced. He wants them back. He will be at court. UGH! We had 1 more week and that's it - since we know he received the papers as he was served in person, i was hoping he just wasn't going to show up. Oh well. Guess it's actually safer this way, right? We KNOW he will KNOW what is going on and IF we get the answer we are looking for, it should be it, right? I sure hope so.
I love these kids with all my heart and I pray that we get dad TPR'd next week. Yet, as the day has gone on, I feel bad because I've also had the thoughts that , well, what happens, happens and guess it's not my problem to worry about. How mean of me? I don't have the "I'M GOING TO FIGHT THIS WITH ALL I'VE GOT" feelings. I mean with G we hired our own attorney and paid big bucks and lost and I was heart broke for a long time. I don't know if we will do that this time. We will just let the state fight their case and if they lose, then the kids will be leaving. I think I'm just so scared of forking out all that money again and not having anything to show for it. These kids are MY kids in all I do and I care about them more than life itself, and yet we both still have this wall up around our hearts because we've been down this road before and I'm SCARED to death to go down the same path we did with G.
SW and AASK CW think he doesn't have a chance. Well, we've heard that line before and where did it get us? Childless and broke (or darn close to it!). I am just sick to my stomach thinking about this and I've got 7 days to worry.
SW did tell me that she got it approved for me to be present via phone for the hearing. That I am happy about. At least i will get to hear exactly what is being said and done and not have to rely on waiting for a phone call to find out.
SW also talked to the kiddo's about their bio mom and the fact that they can't go live with her. I was a little upset because she was supposed to do this when I was there so I could hear what she had to say and what the kids had to say. Oh well. She did tell me that they told her they missed bio mom and they understand that she can't care for them and that is why they are living with us. Do they understand?? I don't know. To a point I think they hear what SW is saying, but understand???? That's a lot for a 4 & 6 yr old. We'll see how many times I hear Emilee crying because she misses her and wants to go live with her.
Nothing else new. JP is having some issues at daycare so I took her 2 journals to start keeping for me. At least this way, I will have someone else telling what is going on and it's not just coming from me. He has been yelling and screaming at "Kappy" when she tells him no for something. That is what he does at home when he doesn't get the answer he wants to hear. Hopefully this will also help the therapist.
Work is about over so that's it for now. Have a good evening all.
I love these kids with all my heart and I pray that we get dad TPR'd next week. Yet, as the day has gone on, I feel bad because I've also had the thoughts that , well, what happens, happens and guess it's not my problem to worry about. How mean of me? I don't have the "I'M GOING TO FIGHT THIS WITH ALL I'VE GOT" feelings. I mean with G we hired our own attorney and paid big bucks and lost and I was heart broke for a long time. I don't know if we will do that this time. We will just let the state fight their case and if they lose, then the kids will be leaving. I think I'm just so scared of forking out all that money again and not having anything to show for it. These kids are MY kids in all I do and I care about them more than life itself, and yet we both still have this wall up around our hearts because we've been down this road before and I'm SCARED to death to go down the same path we did with G.
SW and AASK CW think he doesn't have a chance. Well, we've heard that line before and where did it get us? Childless and broke (or darn close to it!). I am just sick to my stomach thinking about this and I've got 7 days to worry.
SW did tell me that she got it approved for me to be present via phone for the hearing. That I am happy about. At least i will get to hear exactly what is being said and done and not have to rely on waiting for a phone call to find out.
SW also talked to the kiddo's about their bio mom and the fact that they can't go live with her. I was a little upset because she was supposed to do this when I was there so I could hear what she had to say and what the kids had to say. Oh well. She did tell me that they told her they missed bio mom and they understand that she can't care for them and that is why they are living with us. Do they understand?? I don't know. To a point I think they hear what SW is saying, but understand???? That's a lot for a 4 & 6 yr old. We'll see how many times I hear Emilee crying because she misses her and wants to go live with her.
Nothing else new. JP is having some issues at daycare so I took her 2 journals to start keeping for me. At least this way, I will have someone else telling what is going on and it's not just coming from me. He has been yelling and screaming at "Kappy" when she tells him no for something. That is what he does at home when he doesn't get the answer he wants to hear. Hopefully this will also help the therapist.
Work is about over so that's it for now. Have a good evening all.
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